LOST
by Angelznight3000
Summary: This shouldn't have happened. Never. Looking around me all I could see was utter destruction. Absolute catastrophe." Bella becomes a victim in her mind...sounds better than you think...Please review.
1. Preface: The Breakdown

**Okay...this is like a Preface for the story...I know it's short. This story will be presented in sort of a retrospect leading up to well...you read it. AND PLEASE REVIEW!! Any comment is respected. **

_The BREAKDOWN_

This shouldn't have happened. Never. Looking around me all I could see was utter destruction. Absolute catastrophe. Werewolves growled behind me, while vampires crouched defensively baring their razor sharp teeth. But they weren't protecting me, they were protecting themselves. It was my fault all of this started. They couldn't control me. It was my decision in the first place and only I should have to suffer the consequences.

An electrical storm brewed above us. I can feel my patience winding down. Anger was flashed across my face. I was tired of their silly and petty wars. This was stupid. Why should it matter want I wanted. The wind wiped across the clearing with enough force to cause the trees to splinter.

The pack crept up slowly closing in on me. I shot a glance in their direction. They howled out in pain as I tormented them into being paralyzed. I let out a maniacal laugh. My patience was near empty. I felt on the verge of exploding all forms of my power on them.

Now, Edward slowly stepped cautiously towards me. The look on his face was priceless. His eyes bulged in deep ebony, weary of what could happen. Even though his teeth were bared, they possessed a nervous smile. His arms were spread show his comes in peace, surrender. I didn't care. I glared intently into his eyes...

"Edward..." I tormented. I knew he could hear me in his mind. "Edward...come over and play..." I taunted. He tried to shake my voice from consciousness, but I could overpower him. "Edward, are you willing to die?" Then I laughed again. He didn't seem to understand. Finally, he stood right in front of me.

"Bella..." he whispered. He look was now desperate. What a pity! As he attempted to stroke my stony cheek, I promptly smacked away his hand. "Bella," he spoke again. I looked away. Everyone was still on the guard. Lightening flashed around in the sky, illuminating his face slightly.

My anger was building again; the tension was rolling off of me causing the ground around to ripple. I had forgotten why I was mad. But it was all I could feel. Edward felt the vibrations.

"GET OFF!" I shrieked. My nostrils flared as I noted he was touching me again. He had an iron grasp on my wrists, which subconsciously balled into fists.

"NO!" he hissed. His expression became as devilish as mine. But, I was stronger than him. I wiggled around out of his grasp, but he just repositioned himself on me. I still tried to shake him off of me.

"BAM!" Edward tackled me to the ground. I struggled, hissing profanities meant for him. He turned my body around so we faced each other. My body pulsed with fury I was ready to unleash.

"Bella, you have to control yourself," he hissed. I shook my head violently trying to shake out his plea. I never wanted this power to go away. Everyone was frightened of me. Everyone would bow down to me in the end. The pack would become my pets as the Cullens could be my slaves forever. The thought humored me.

"Bella, you can't let this power control you." Lightening struck again. Closer this time and brighter. Again, I saw his face, it was desperate. Did he seriously care what would happen?

But, my power wouldn't back down. I couldn't calm myself. I looked around and saw what I caused. The sky opened up and poured blinding rain over us. Lightening became frequent and the ground still suffered from tremors. But I wanted to control it. I wanted to stop causing pain to the pack and the Cullens. But I couldn't. It had gone to far...

"Edward, I can't," I hissed back.

"Bella, we can help you, save you..." he pleaded again.

I shook my head. No one could help me.

"You have to control yourself, Bella. You're hurting everyone. Your family… Jacob. Bella, you're hurting me," he whispered.

You're hurting me. Those words broke me down. It echoed through my conscience. I slowed down the moment to really assess what I done.

I had created a mess. I had hurt the people I loved. I was terrible. A real monster. The ones in your nightmares. I was no longer the beautiful vampires like Rosalie; I was a hideous, sadistic vampire. They were afraid. A new emotion swept over me.

"Edward," I whispered. He looked into my weary black irises. He awaited my answer.

"Kill me..."

**Ooo...**


	2. The Beginning Of Discovery

**The Beginning of Discovery**

To tell my story, I have to start from the beginning. Not from where I was a plain, clumsy human (Heaven knows how happy I am to have those days gone). And not from where I fell in love with Edward (it would be a series in itself). My story starts when I was transformed into a vampire...

"Bella, love, are you sure you want to do this?" Edward questioned, his molten gold eyes desperately searching for any hesitation on my part. "You know I will always love you, human, and all."

"Edward, I love you, too. But, this is the only way to make our marriage last for an eternity. I need you to be confident in my decision," I softly spoke caressing his cheek.

His weary look faltered as his crooked smile broke across his face. This smile always made things better. Then, he leaned in so he was within inches of face. Heart racing, his gently applied his lips onto mine.

"I'm going to miss that..." he chuckled. Slowly, he drew his fingers across my cheeks outlining my jawbone, causing my blood to tint my cheeks rosy.

"And that too." I glared at him as I can see he was trying to postpone the initial desire.

"No more distractions, Edward. I love you. Don't make this anymore difficult for us. Don't make me wait, honey."

"You've always been an eager one." Then, one more kiss took place between us. A deep, passionate kiss. This was to be the last kiss among us as human and vampire. His lips found their place at the hollow cavity at my throat.

"I love you, Bella," he murmured on my skin. I nodded in agreement.

A jolt of pain ripped through me. Like a bolt of lightning struck me tensing my muscles. The pain gnawed at me, almost unbearable. I cried out and Edward looked onto me in regret. He thought he was hurting me, but I knew it would be painful.

"Bella, love, I'm so sorry," he whispered. He looked into my contorted face. The pain began to cease. Soon, it tingled and could be considered pleasurable. That's when I noticed Carlisle had begun pumping me with morphine.

"It will lose its potency as more of the venom comes in contact with your heart," Carlisle stated. I breathed deeply and slowly trying to stay calm for Edward jerked around nervously.

"Edward - I'm fine," I strained out. But he knew I wasn't. I knew I wasn't. The transformation was never going to be easy, but I was willing to make it work. For Edward, my new family, and for me.

Edward stuck by my side holding my hand at every twinge of pain. In between each, I thought, deeply. I didn't have to read Edward's mind to know he was thinking the same as I was...

When I became a vampire what powers would I possess?

**3 days later**

I noticed the pain ceased once more, courtesy of the morphine. But I quickly denounced that. The pain was gone, indefinitely. No morphine could do that.

Three days. It was all over. Three days, it seemed like I would never rise again. My body was comfortable on the silky sheets I was placed on. I instantly looked around to see Edward peering at me through large puppy-dog eyes. He was laying beside me hand still clutching mine from three days ago. He was still nervous. About what, though?

"Edward," I spoke, a little surprised at my own voice. It no longer mumbled under in self-consciousness, it was fluid and creamy, silky and smooth. My voice could have belonged to a Siren, seducing the men at sea.

"Bella, love," he whispered before taking me in a lip-lock. This one was not gentle like I was fragile. I felt his lips, no longer cold and hard, on mine and I knew it was official. I was one of them. I was a Cullen, a vampire.

"Edward, stop with that," I teased. He was bewildered. He had no clue what I was referring to. "Edward, I heard what you said about my 'new' body. If I was human, it would make me blush..."

"Bella, I didn't say anything," he explained slowly. Oh my, I could read his thoughts about me.

I thought about how Edward was making me flush with embarrassment.

"Bella, I didn't know you felt like that. But you are looking quite..." he trailed off. Slowly, revelation spread across his face.

"Bella, you can read my mind," his started slowly, his voice thickening with excitement, "and I hear yours, or a least the ones you want me to hear..." Then, his face fell realizing this depressing thought.

"Well, at least we know what your power is now!" he laughed. I joined him. This was funny. But also quite deepening our relationship, now Edward and I had discovered another way to communicate. But I was stronger than him, I could screen the thoughts that Edward received. His was limited. I was not.

This discovery was a big one. I was a newborn and had found my power all in one day. I felt like I was on top of the world.

"Edward, remember you told me to arm wrestle Emmett once I was a vampire," I spoke. "Are you thinking exactly what I'm thinking...?" And he was. He and I flew down the stairs at vampire speed practically flying.

"Emmett! I'm ready to BATTLE!" I yelled. Then, I realized I didn't have to; vampire has extremely sensitive hearing. Soon it was on. I saw Jasper and Alice trickle in to see the spectacle.

"I betting on Bella," Alice said coolly. Jasper cocked his head to the side and agreed with her. No one betted against Alice. Except Emmett. His overconfidence was his demise.

I easily beat Emmett several times.

SLAM! "I won." I laughed with a trill.

Emmett fumed in his own misery. Apparently, Emmett isn't use to losing. "You cheated!" he accused.

"With what!"

"Your new found power."

"Hey, that's not cheating. That's just a fair advantage." I reasoned. Everyone laughed. This was going to be great. Being a vampire meant that I could actually feel like part of my new family.

"Alice what did you see?" I asked. She had shortly blanked out. She shook her head.

"Nothing important" she said feigning her collectiveness. I peered into her mind, something she couldn't control and saw exactly what she had seen: The Volturi.

I knew it was bound to happen, but hey they would be happy to see me. Right? Boy, I hoped so.

A zap of electricity ripped through me: something was coming. What? Something that I would cause. But what? I didn't know. But it didn't feel like it was going to be a skip and a hop.

Anger began to pulse through me until I saw the light flickered setting me off guard.

"Whoa, that's strange," Jasper murmured. My head snapped in his direction. I knew he was combating my anger, but it didn't help.

"Bella are you alright?" he asked. I quickly smiled, "yes." But I didn't look alright. I excused myself. I flew upstairs towards the bathroom. I was so caught up in the festivities that I didn't have a chance to get a good look at myself.

In our bathroom mirror, I reveled in my sight.

My body: curves appeared and filled out, stomach forever flat and toned. Beauty enhanced radiating. My eyes. They were frightening. Red. Blood red. A discovery that was mocking me. I no longer had wide brown eyes, I had vampire bloodlust eyes. All of my beauty seemed to account up to nothing as I only saw those piercing eyes staring back at me.

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	3. Appetite

**Thanks to those who reviewed...**

APPETITE

"Bella, are you okay?" Edward's voice was filled with concern.

"Yes, I'm…I'm fine," I muttered. I quickly turned away from the dreadful image. He saw my eyes and knew the image was hurting me.

"Come on, Bella, let's go back downstairs." He offered his hand as we – at a human pace – came downstairs. Jasper looked up at me with worry. I smiled in content, feigning my happiness. I was in a bad mood, for no good reason.

"Okay, Bella, I think it's time to take you hunting," Edward suggested. "You need the practice and today is the perfect day for that." We had just entered the kitchen when I saw Alice round the corner also.

"No, it's time to take her shopping. There is a major sale and if we don't hurry we'll be left with the reject pieces. You need new clothes to go with your new body!" She protested while jerking me in her direction. She inspected over my new body, approving.

"No, she's need to hunt, Alice," he hissed, jerking me back in his direction.

"No, she needs to shop!" She growled.

My patience dwindled as their bicker proceeded. I just wanted them to get their hands off of me. Immediately, both of their hands released from me, like my mind had spoken an order. Weird.

"Okay, this how were going to do is, first I'm going to learn how to hunt. Then, I'm going to go shopping." As I uttered the words, Edward's face looked worried. But I knew I was alright, I wasn't at the least bit attracted to human blood. Somehow, that trait from my human life crossed over. Well, it actually came in handy, finally. Edward grabbed my hand and I grabbed Alice's, both kissing them on the cheek as we made our way out.

Edward and Alice ran to their favorite hunting sight, dragging me along.

"Okay, Bella, when hunting, you let your senses take over," Edward whispered in my ear. We were in a clearing far from humans. The trees were packed together condense, though that didn't hinder our sight. Far beyond the exposed trees, I could see various creatures scurrying across the forest floor. The venom flowed in my mouth. It was hard to control myself. Edward noticed and placed a defensive hand over my body. I quickly shot a satanic glance at him and he laughed sheepishly.

"Are you ready?" He asked. I smirked and dashed out without answering.

I didn't know that I could make the transition so fast. It seemed like I was an expert. I couldn't control myself. Control, something I would definitely have to work on.

I rather skip over the gruesome behavior that occurred over my first hunt. I wasn't as neat as Edward and Alice, but I cleaned up so nicely, even Edward was impressed. Feeling satisfied, I left to go shopping with Alice.

We returned to the house to retrieve her Porsche. "You won't even have a chance to miss," I smiled. I kissed Edward and made my way out of town. We drove dangerously fast to Seattle. But surprisingly, I didn't mind. Actually, I complained that Alice wasn't going fast enough. If you believe 120 mph is slow.

We entered the mall and I was struck in awe. When I was human, how could I not have found clothes interesting? There was so many and they were all so nice. I took Alice into the nearest boutique.

"How does this look?" I had just tried on various outfits all receiving the same answer.

"Not bad, Bella," Alice complimented. Then, I would shake my head in rejection and quickly swap it out for a better outfit.

Soon, I came out displaying a midnight blue sparkling mini dress. It fell right in the middle of my thighs and I even complimented the look with a pair of heels. Alice's jaw dropped to the floor.

"Bella, where did you get your impeccable taste in clothes all of a sudden," She asked, shocked.

Truthfully, I didn't know. Subconsciously, I knew I wanted to dress just was well as Rosalie and Alice. But I didn't dare let her know that, so I smiled. I walked out the dressing room and strutted down our mini runway as Alice cheered me on.

"Uh, oh, America's Next Top Model just may be a vampire," she joked. Where did all this newfound confidence come from? I ended up revamping my whole wardrobe, even picking up a few "special" outfits for Edward's pleasure.

Hmm… it was nice to actually realize the vixen I was for once. As a human, I always tried to downplay my appeal. Now, I am a vampire. I was created to seduce. And that is exactly what I was going to do…

Alice and I arrived home early in the evening, laden with expensive clothes.

"You know, Bella, you and I need to shop more often," She giggled. We departed and I headed to Edward's bedroom. I entered in to see him reading. He looked over his book and rose to greet me.

"Hey, Bella, how was shopping?" Edward kissed me chastely. Even though I was a vampire, his kisses still caused me to stir. I walked over to closet dumping the bags of clothes at the bottom. I turned back to him and drew my hand across the back of his neck.

"Great, but it has left me with quite an appetite," I said suggestively. Edward looked confused.

"Well, I guess we could go hunting again and uh…Bella!" He was shocked at what I done. With my mind, I had released his belt buckle and sent it across the floor. I had some strong powers.

"Silly boy, you know what I'm hungry for," I smirked. He still looked baffled as I had relayed the exactly what I wanted him to do me. If a vampire could blush, Edward would be tomato red. I strutted towards him, swaying my newfound hips. I extended my leg out, and my high heeled foot landed squarely on Edward's chest. I slowly pushed him down on his bed.

He gulped. I felt like a dominatrix and I was about to lay it on Edward. I needed this "hunger" satisfied here and now. I was going to be in command this time. I was so used to Edward always controlling things. But it was my turn. The lights in the room dimmed, setting the mood.

"Edward…" I whispered. He nodded - his eyes wide with curiosity. "I'm going to make you scream my name."

**wow.**


	4. You won't like me when I'm angry

**YOU WON'T LIKE ME WHEN I'M ANGRY**

I don't know what gave me this incredible urge, but I liked it. I would do this until the break of dawn but Edward had a different opinion.

"Honey…" he mumbled through a kiss. "Slow down…"

"No." He still struggled under me, but I didn't care. I needed him, again. Suddenly, I was pinned down and Edward held himself over me.

"Bella, you're going to have to chill out. As much as I would like to keep doing this with you, I can't," Edward pleaded.

No fun, I need more. More of him. I sat up, defeated. In my mind, I swore on his name.

"Bella, you can't be mad at me because I don't have the same energy as you. You have to let me refuel."

I crossed my arms and shot a hateful glance at him. What else am I suppose to do all night? But I did leave Edward alone. Little did he know I was going to get him later.

I rose from our position and dressed. The bedroom door flung open and I stalked out in a bad mood. I heard thunder roll in the distance. I approached the kitchen to hear a slightly familiar voice float out. I pinpointed who it was: Tanya. She sat at a stool wearing an outfit that was provocative and completely inappropriate.

"What are you doing here?" I hissed out her.

She innocently replied, "Here to see family? You?"

"To kick your -"

"Bella! What an angry gesture towards a guest. I'm appalled," Tanya spoke in a shocking voice. Emmett and Alice came in to see the scene unfold.

"You won't like me when I'm angry! You're here to take my man. Tanya, you have messed with the wrong one," I hissed indignantly. Thunder crackled.

"Bring it on, DUM-Bell!" I had her dragged near me using only my mind. Her eyes widen in shock as I began to go for her hair.

"CATFIGHT!" I heard Emmett shout. Alice came in to push me off but I only increased my force. Soon, I found myself thrown in a corner with Edward on top of me.

"Bella, what are you thinking?" Edward whispered in my ear, straining to keep anger from coloring his language.

"You know what I'm thinking," I shouted at him, while letting him hear my thoughts.

He shook his head in denial. "Bella, that's absurd. And you know I don't want her. I only want you and you alone," he said soothingly.

"_Sometimes it doesn't seem like it_…" I thought.

Tanya stood up from Emmett's grasp and brushed her clothes off. She tossed her head in my direction, where my face was still set angrily. I looked into Edward's eyes and could see my eyes casting a reflection. My irises were red, not newborn crimson, but fiery scarlet. That shocked me out of my anger as my eyes flashed returning to the newborn color.

"_Bella, what peculiar eyes…"_Edward thought. That's when I learned, my mood flashed through my eyes, like the window to my soul. "I think you need to apologize to Tanya and I need to get you out, love," Edward directed as he kissed me lightly on the lips.

"Sorry," I said coldly.

"No harm done." She continued to brush herself off and walked out of the kitchen. And with that Edward and I ran out of the kitchen. We got into his car as he drove directionless.

"Bella, you have to do better. Your powers are incredible, but you have to know when to use them. Love, you understand?"

I absorbed what he was saying.

"Edward, honey, I understand what you're trying to tell me, but sometimes I can't control it. Sometimes, I have no idea what I'm doing. It's like my mind is acting on its own and my body is the vessel. I don't know. And then, like today I acted without thinking. I knew you wanted me and not her, but my mind told me otherwise. And…I'm sorry. I'll do better." He looked at me and then my favorite smile broke across his face.

"Bella, I've been very curious these last days about your powers. Would care to explain them?"

"Well, I'm super strong, and telepathic. That's how we communicate. I also discovered that I'm telekinetic that's how I got your belt off last night." I smirked as Edward nodded. "And something about my emotions controlling my environment. You know the thunder? Yeah, that's my storm."

"Huh. I like some of things I have seen. Bella, the vampire vixen. I think we should see Carlisle to make sure you're not going mentally insane on me," Edward joked. "It seems like you made a total 180 on the Bella scale."

Little did he know my craziness was around the corner...

Carlisle frowned over in my direction.

"I have no explanation for you," he began. "You see, Bella has always had a safely guarded mind. My only hypothesis is that as she changed, it heightened her mental sensitivity giving way to multiple mental talents such as telekinesis."

Edward shifted in his seat toward Carlisle deep in thought as I sat back. They continued to carry on as if I wasn't there.

"My only concern is as a newborn, her powers might have more control over her than we think. It's important for you, Bella, to control your emotions especially. Your powers are still maturing as you are. Edward, you need to keep an eye on her." Great, why is it always me getting babysat?

"Now, we know Alice had a vision about the Volturi. We need not to attract anymore of their attention. Understand, Bella."

Edward and I strolled out of Carlisle's library. I listened into Edward's mind. He was milling over was Carlisle's words.

"Edward, I want to clear my head."

"Okay, let's go to the meadow," he suggested.

"No, Edward. I think I need to go alone," I explained. He stared at me worried, giving me the 'You know what Carlisle said' eye. But I kissed him on the lips assuredly and he nodded in comprehension.

In a moment, I was surrounded by the tranquil meadow. I sighed and breathed deeply releasing negative tension. I listened to the distant trills of the animals. It was all relaxing. Until it hit me.

A wave of anger flooded my body and my body was conflicted with pain. I growled and instantly hated myself. I had to control this. What could fill me with so much hatred? Then, I saw Jacob stumbling in the distance.

"Stop," I tried to whisper to him, but he seemed no to notice. He kept walking towards me. Every step brought on more and more hatred. "STOP!" I yelled inside. But self wouldn't stop. I felt the particles around me pick up in a dust cloud and the rocks circled around me creating a shield. I didn't want to hurt him. But my powers did. Inside he was the enemy.

"Control Yourself!" I hissed. He looked onto me confused and horrified.

"Bella..." he whispered. I bared my teeth and shouted at him to go away, but he didn't budge. I couldn't let my power hurt him. I...I...had to control it. I closed my eyes and covered my ears. I began screaming. Not at him, but at myself.

It was slowly creeping over me like a shroud. My powers were engulfing me. Last I remember was my eyes rolling back... that's when I knew it had taken over...

What…where was I? I attempted to get up but I was shackled in place. I could easily snap out of the restraints, but where would I go? I had gone too far when I had saw Jacob. I no longer had any idea of what I was capable of.

Stupid me. Stupid him. I wonder what happened. I remember blanking out. But I don't know what actions I took…

Edward walked in wearily.

"Edward!" I cried. "Where's Jacob? I have to see Jacob again." I began to blurt out nonsense. But Edward just shook his head in disgust.

"Look what I've done…" he muttered. I looked onto him confused.

"You haven't done anything. But, Edward, let me out to see Jacob."

"Bella, you can't, love. You are too dangerous. I can't allow it. Carlisle won't allow it. After your stunt in the meadow today, I'm going to have to watch you more carefully."

"I'm an adult. Why did I bother asking you? You aren't the boss of me, Edward!" I snapped as I slipped from the shackles and stalked towards Edward.

"Love, what…what do you…Bella have you gone crazy? This is all your mess. And to think I had a part in this. I created you, Bella. And now, I need to take responsibility for you," he spoke.

"Edward, Edward, Edward…I'm tired of being treated as your charity or better yet, your pet. I am a woman. A GROWN WOMAN. Your woman. And a powerful one at that. So, stop treating me as a child and move or so help me…" I warned.

He didn't budged and I felt a smirk spreading across my face. He was going to get it.

"You're right. I need to stay here. I love you, Edward," I cooed as I traced his jawbone. I went in for a deep kiss and he went along. When he thought I was over our discrepancy, I slapped him across the cheek. "Ah, Edward…you will learn."

I swiftly escaped out of this holding chamber into the forest area to be confronted once again with Jacob. I was humbled by his sight.

"I see that blood sucker let you out again," Jacob snarled. I let that comment roll off me. Anything at this point could upset me.

"Jacob, I'm sorry. I'd lost my mind. I wasn't thinking…me…I" I fumbled. I had no explanation for my strange behavior.

"Do you understand what you have done, Bella?" I shook my head. I had forgotten. Not so much forgotten, but I had a mental lapse. I was in the dark. I knew my behavior has been foul, but I didn't know what could be so monumental.

"Bella, you attacked me. Only when that leech came --"

"Edward," I hissed.

"Yes, your leech," he repeated.

"HIS. NAME. IS. EDWARD!" I screamed. What was wrong with me? I was now crouched defensively opposite an enormous werewolf growling.

"Bella," someone spoke. It was Edward.

"Leave me alone," I pressed.

"Do you know what you started?" He inquired suddenly next to me. I laughed maniacally. I understood exactly what I did.

"Of course," I whispered into his ear. "This is war…"


	5. An Unbalanced War

**Please Review...**

**BELLA**

So, the treaty has been broken. But that was never my problem. I fled into the trees, knocking against a couple for fun. Edward zoomed behind me as Jacob hounded behind also.

"Can you keep up?" I teased. I came into a clearing and wheeled around to observe my "playmates" once again. "Hey, you weren't invited!" I frowned.

Indeed, beside Edward were the whole Cullen clan and the pack formed behind Jacob. Anger boiled over me as a storm brewed overhead.

"Bella, please try to control yourself," Carlisle informed. I just waved him away and continued on my rampage.

"This power…it's just too great to give up. Now, I don't have to feel so useless. Edward, I no longer need a babysitter," I purred. Growls erupted from the pack. "Can it, mongrels, before I have you stuffed," I warned. Then, the power slowly washed over me, clouding my mind, and blinding my vision.

Subconsciously, I fought against this. Physically, I had no more control over my actions. My mind separated from my body as it fought to gain back control. Carlisle was right. I needed to control myself. My Mr. Hyde state fell in and out of power. But I had let this power go on too far.

This war was not between vampire and werewolf. This was not over the treaty. This wasn't even over my two loves feuding. This war was between me and my power. Me and myself. And right now, it was winning.

**EDWARD**

An electrical storm gathered over her. She was letting this power beat her. I had to save her.

"Don't Edward," Carlisle warned. "She is very unstable. She could do a lot more damage than we have anticipated."

But I had no other choice. She was my love, my eternity, and essentially my problem. She was a hazard to herself. I had to prepare to save her.

"Edward, they are coming. For her," Alice spoke distantly. I understood exactly what she meant. The Volturi were coming to get Bella. Her disturbances must have caught their attention. "Edward, if you don't do something now, they will execute her."

I shuddered. Bella just didn't know what she has got herself into. I had to save her. I had to be brave. I could see her conflicting against her inner power. I felt like Frankenstein. I created this monster and now I regretted. Why did she want to be a vampire? I knew she couldn't handle it.

Soon, she stared out around her. She was reviewing what she had done. I looked at the werewolves. They were closing in on her, stupid to do. She paralyzed them with a glare. The power was creeping back. I knew I only had a small window of opportunity.

I cautiously strolled towards her. I didn't know what to expect. I couldn't tap into her mind for she was blocking me. I spread my arms up in peace, but she thought it was a funny gesture.

"Edward…" her voice flooded my mind. "Edward…come over and play..." she continued to fill my mind. I tried to ignore her to let her know what was coming, but she didn't hear me. "Edward, are you willing to die?" she spoke out loud. I couldn't understand why she thought I was going to die. She needed to know her immortality was in jeopardy.

"Bella…" I whispered. I tired to make her understand. I looked onto her. My beautiful Bella was inside there somewhere struggling to escape. I wanted to touch her cheek, but she smacked my hand away. I guess I deserve that. I have been rude to her. "Bella…" I whispered again. I had to make her see. I could see her anger rolling back across her.

I grabbed her wrists to help her fight, but all she did was fight against me. I tackled her to the ground and a string of profanities passed her lips.

"Bella, you have to control yourself," I hissed. But her thoughts were elsewhere. I knew the Volturi would be here soon. I just needed to get her to see.

"Bella, you can't let this power control you." Lightening struck. She looked into my face confused at why I still pressed the issue.

"Edward, I can't," she hissed back.

"Bella, we can help you, save you..." I pleaded.

She shook my head. This was my last chance. The only way I knew how…

"You have to control yourself, Bella. You're hurting everyone. Your family, Jacob. Bella, you're hurting me." I whispered. She looked up again at the mess, the mayhem.

"Edward…" she whispered.

I awaited the answer. I hoped it helped.

"Kill me…"

That was not the answer I wanted.

"Kill her?" I thought; how could I possibly harm her?

"There has to be another way, love…" I reasoned. She continued to stare into my eyes. Her eyes were ebony colored and her beautiful visage was only a rigid grimace.

"Edward, look at what I've done. The Volturi would never forgive this…I'm sorry. I need you to help me, cure me. Stay with me." She whispered. I looked onto her in understanding as I shielded her from the showering rain. But all too soon she slipped under into a coma to confront her own mind. I knew at this time the only thing I could do, was wait for her to find herself again.

"Well, well, well, we've seen to have stumbled upon the source of our little problem," Jane sneered. I advanced before her, growling as I rose up to interrupt her view of Bella, who lied hopelessly. The Volturi crossed the clearing, their entourage already preceding them. Aro stepped in between our standoff and raised a frail hand to halt the hostility in the air. He cleared his throat.

"You seem to already know we are here for the girl. I knew she would be special, but she was on the verge of being 'dangerous.' Now, before I go on anything farther, the werewolves need to be escorted," Aro commanded. Jane and Demetri turned to the wolf pack, stiffen in stance.

"Sam, it's for the best," I hinted. He understood. Bella was a war of her own; we didn't need another to start to cause a world war. Relaxing in stature, the pack slowly filed away into the forest. Jacob hesitated, but soon retreated as well.

"Their smell is just horrendous," Aro muttered under his breath. He chuckled and then suddenly turned to me, returning to a formal demeanor. "I have received word that our little, Bella here,"— motioning to her – "has been making a lot of ruckus with herself. Ordinarily, I would have come to give her our rules. But, then I remembered she knew. You know the rules, Edward. So, I have come to handle the situation," finished.

Anger fell over me as I realized their plans. But Bella was just confused with herself; she doesn't deserve to be disposed of. But then again, did all those newborns deserve to die? The Volturi was very strict on their rules, but maybe they would make an exception…

"If you, Edward, would be so kind as if to excuse me," Aro motioned. I shifted to the side, leaving Bella exposed. He was very curious, so I guess it would help him understand our situation. He reached out to touch her temple as his eyes dilated in reverie. At his touch, her eyes alerted in a flash of various colors, as if she was being electrocuted. But in a second, she returned to her anesthetized state and her eyes resumed to their lost stare. Moments passed before his hand returned to his side. "Very interesting," he murmured amusingly. "Even though she is extremely powerful – more powerful than me – I was given the chance to catch a glimpse of her mind. Terribly disturbing…" he said with worry replacing his tone. "Rapid thoughts zoomed in and out of her troubled soul. She's lost in her own mind."

I already knew what was going through her head; she was trying to fight against her power, to gain control. "Aro, she is trying to fight the power that's been causing all of this…mayhem. She's confused and the power is frightening. Yes, she is more powerful than us, but right now, she's vulnerable. That's the only reason why you were able to read her thoughts. She's opening her mind to anything that can help. She wants…she wants to be killed," I choked out. I was basically giving them permission to destroy the only person I ever loved.

"Yes, yes, that was our original intention, but I'm willing to help your cause. It would terrible to waste such a talented mind," Aro spoke. Then, he turned to his brothers, who nodded in agreement. I looked at my family who came over to understand the matter.

With the help of the Volturi, my family and I drew up a plan to resurrect the Old Bella.

The only thing that could hinder the plan was if the New Bella fought back in full force…


	6. LOST

**A/N: okay so I thought about breaking this up and making it suspensful, but most people hate that so i did the whole scene and while still leaving you hanging. If you don't like cliffhangers, review so I'll write faster...**

**LOST**

**EDWARD**

"Are you sure she's going to cooperate?" I asked Alice. She tried to conjure a vision – her face blanking out – but frowned instead.

"Honestly, I don't know. I couldn't pick up any outlook."

I knew that meant Bella's mind was still warring within itself, and the power was up. Evidence was in the rise of particles surrounding her. She looked so helpless. I turned away from her in sorrow. Before we went our separate ways, I huddled everyone together for one last talk.

"Well, let's review the plan: Emmett and Jasper – carefully transport Bella back to Carlisle's office. Once there, Carlisle, lock her securely in a chair and if she is startled, soothe her until she is comatose again. Aro and Alice, I need you to help me coax the Bella we know back. We have to eliminate the power that is controlling her. Marcus, Caius, and along with your bodyguards may wait downstairs in the sitting area if you like. Esme and Rosalie, you two can wait along with them and if we need your assistance will call you.

"For Aro and Alice – once Bella's mind becomes vulnerable again, we need to invade her thoughts. Alice, you need to predict when her power will resurface. Watch for any sudden body movements. It would be dangerous for us to allow her mind too much control over us. Aro, you will help me destroy the power controlling her. We need to make sure that we are not isolated in her thoughts; I can't imagine what she could do…" Everyone shuddered in agreement as we begun our designated services.

Jane quietly sauntered over to Aro. "Master, what if you can't save her?" Her tone was innocent, although her expression hinted otherwise.

"Well, we'll have to go with plan b: our traditional methods," he answered. This amused Jane, who skipped away in content. Even for a vampire, she was inconsiderate. I threw her a hateful glare as I supervised Emmett and Jasper while they lifted Bella of the ground. Running, we all were home in minute.

I really hoped I could save my Bella. She was all I had, the only thing valuable to me. If she couldn't live, I didn't see the reason for me to live as well. She was suffering and I was responsible for it -- for everything: the Tanya scuffle…the attack on Jacob…

Marcus and Caius glided into the living room, escorted by Esme as Jane sat whispering to Demetri "when will we hunt?" Rosalie went over to straighten out that situation. The rest of us went the stairs towards Carlisle's office.

Gently, Carlisle strapped Bella into an office chair. She seemed not to notice the change of environment. She just continued to exhibit a lifeless mien, her body stiff and rigid like she had paralyzed herself.

"Ready?" Carlisle inquired. With a sigh, I decided I was ready. I was ready to fight for my love and her life.

Alice positioned herself in a seat opposite of Bella, as Aro and I situated ourselves at Bella's side. Aro reached to touch Bella's shoulder and she tensed up a little. That was strange. When Aro touches her, she responds. When Emmett or Jasper touches her, she remains in shock. I thought it must have something to do with Aro's talent and that she responded as he tried to gain access into his mind.

I had begun concentrating on Bella's mind. Her power had fluctuated too high and the lights flickered in response. Aro's hand back to his side as he looked at me perplexed.

"We missed our window…" I explained. Aro frowned. But, Alice drew a blank look.

"Next window opens in ten, nine, eight…" she counted. I inhaled and began to concentrate again. I felt like I was being hauled into another universe – like I was being separated from my body. Too soon, I found myself standing in a boundless white room. I looked over my right shoulder to see Aro. He patted my shoulder in a paternal gesture. I smiled nervously at him as we continued to walk around Bella's mind.

It was quite amazing, -- yet disturbing. Her mind had changed dramatically. A regular human mind was like a screen – it displayed your thoughts and feelings, but we couldn't interact with them. A vampire mind was like a three-dimensional interactive screen – smells and drama could be felt. But, Bella's mind was like a movie set. Resembling a universe, her thoughts zoomed past us like a film strip preparing to project on a screen. Here, you could touch things, because they were real.

However, her current thoughts were quite graphic in nature, full of bizarre images of torture that were not of my Bella. I shied away. They reminded me of my own dark past.

"What are you doing here?" a familiar voice asked. Aro and I turned around to see Bella standing in front of us. Her stance suggested one of submission as she hung her head. She appeared meek and pallid, like a zombie. I wanted to run up and kiss her, and tell her she was beautiful but that action might cause a negative result. She shuffled her feet as she murmured, "You shouldn't be here."

Aro's brows rose in curiosity. "And why is that?"

Slowly, she drew up her eyes. Her onyx eyes penetrated in alarm, shifting back and forth between Aro and me.

"She'll see you," she whispered.

"She?" I thought. Who was she? I felt a wave of hostility hit me. I turned around to see another woman standing there.

"What are doing?" she grimaced at us. This woman was Bella, another Bella. But quickly, I differentiated between the two. This Bella was dressed to seductively for my own Bella's taste. She even wore fire engine red lipstick to accentuate her lips. She stood opposite of the other Bella, leaving Aro and I in between the two. This one was too extreme to be my Bella, so that dubs her The Power. Anger rolled off her as she crossed her arms. Aro inspected both of the Bellas, comprehending.

"Fascinating," he muttered. Apparently, The Power didn't like this. All too soon, Aro disappeared from my side.

I jumped back in horror. "WHAT DID YOU DO?" I scowled advancing towards the second Bella. Now, I was alone. Isolated. She straightened up and glared at me. Moments passed as her face fell into frustration.

"Humph. He was too curious for my liking," she snapped and then turned to the first Bella. "And you…stop blocking me. He shouldn't be here. This is between you and me. You shouldn't waste your power on him," she bullied.

The first Bella glanced at her and slowly looked back at me warily.

"Don't listen to her. You're stronger than that…" I encouraged.

"Shut up, Cullen," The Power snarled. But, the first Bella still stared at me. I took a step forward confidently, but the first Bella stepped back in reaction and the second one smirked in satisfaction.

"She doesn't want you, Edward. She doesn't need you. Right, Bella?" The Power tinkled her voice feigning innocence.

"I'm…so confused," she shrugged. I had to think of a way to save her from that monster controlling her.

"Bella, I need you," I pleaded. She looked torn between her power and her love. Slumping to the white floor, the first Bella closed her eyes and attempted to shake the confusion. Images flew into focus. Images of Bella and I together – when I saved her from James…the night I stayed with her…when Bella rescued me from killing myself…the night I proposed…on and on…

Until the second Bella interrupted.

"But didn't she live without you?" The Power smirked, causing the images to change drastically to the dark period of Bella's life – when I left her. This was like a blow to me for I felt myself reflexively draw an arm around my chest. I watched in horror over the memories of Bella being lost without me…how she held herself together…her time with Jacob…her zombie state…the cliff-diving…

It was beginning to be too much. "Stop it this instant," I demanded the second Bella. But she just strolled towards me arrogantly.

"Ah, is little Eddie tired of losing," she teased. "Unfortunately, Edward, I'm not the one controlling her memories. I just simply…encourage them." She walked back to the first Bella and patted her head as if she was a dog.

"Leave her alone." I was beginning to get quite aggravated over the exchange.

"No."

"I'm afraid you don't understand—"

"No, I afraid you don't understand," the Power smiled. "You see…once Bella here slips from protecting you, I will eliminate you from the picture…forever. And then, I will control Bella. The thing is…there is only room for one Bella. I will eventually merge my mannerisms permanently into her. And all her memories – especially the ones of you – will be lost along with you…"

Snarls ripped from my chest as I began to crouch down defensively. "Sorry, I can't let that happen to her."

"Sorry that I don't care what you will and won't allow. You always been sheltering her: 'Bella, don't do this. Stay back, Bella – it's not safe…' It's time for her to grow up into me." She hissed at me and again, images zoomed by us illustrating how I had protected Bella.

I understood now. I needed to trigger a memory from the first Bella. I needed her to see her love was much stronger than this power. That's why the second Bella isn't harming me – subconsciously, Bella still loves me.

"But I only do that because I love her. I have repressed my desire for her blood and replaced with my desire for her love. I waited for more than a century for a love like her." The first Bella peered up at the Power looking for confirmation. But, the Power denied my claims by vigorously shaking her head. I took this time to swiftly come to the first Bella's side. "You know I love you. I will forever love you. And you, deep down, love me, too."

"Don't listen to him!" the second Bella seethed.

"Be quiet!" the first Bella shouted. This startled all of us. Right on cue, the floodgates of her mind open up, releasing recollections of the love Bella and I shared. Images of us in the meadow…at school…laying together at night…me professing me love…Italy…it all came rushing out.

The first Bella brought her eyes to mine. They were no longer onyx, but chocolate brown – her human eye color. They met mine and lit up in revelation as she whispered, "Edward…"

"Yes, sweetheart," I spoke as I reached for her warm hands.

"I'm scared," she whispered. The Power stood over her, enraged.

"LEAVE HER ALONE!" the second Bella shrieked.

"No…no, you leave me alone," the first Bella snapped. The second Bella stepped back to crouch down.

"I didn't want to do this. You brought this own yourself. I made you, Bella! Without me, you were nobody. Nothing! Now, I could be what you want…" The Power suggested.

However, the first Bella took me in a desperate embrace. I brought my lips to her ear. "Tell me what you want me to do?"

"Save me Edward," she cried. "I need you to help me, stay with me. Don't ever let me go…"

I caressed her cheek and vowed, "I will stay with you forever, love. As long, as you want me, I will stay."

I shifted the first Bella, my Bella, behind me as I followed suit of the Power. She shifted her weight her from leg to leg as I began to mimic her. I was going to battle a Bella for my Bella. But, my Bella lightly touched my shoulder, relaxing me in a way I didn't know possible. I straightened back up as the Power followed. My Bella calmly squared off in front of the second one.

"Ha! Are you kidding me? You think you can even attempt to faze me?" The Power snorted boisterously in disbelief.

Ignoring the second Bella, my love turned to me. "Edward, I love you. Don't worry about me or what happens. Everything will be alright…" she assured. I was confused. What was she planning?

Faint warnings came from Alice.

"Edward. Her mind is reaching a dangerous intensity. You have to leave now…"

I thought to myself, "I can't her, now. I have to stay."

Moments went by when I heard Alice shouting in my head again. "Edward, you don't understand. Only one Bella will survive this battle. And if the wrong one wins…you'll be trapped in her mind – forever. It's dangerous. You don't have Aro there to protect you. GET OUT NOW!" she demanded.

I thought aloud to Alice "Can't you see the outcome?"

"No, Edward, the power is currently blocking my vision. Leave now!"

"Alice, I have to stay. I promised." Moments passed again before I heard Alice again.

"Don't let us lose you, too," she concluded. And her thoughts faded into whispers.

I turned my attention back to the Bellas, who were circling each other. My Bella remained smug and casual as the second Bella shook with fury. I looked into the Power's eyes -- glowing embers of red. Her lips curled back over her teeth.

"Honestly, Bella, do you like being useless…hopeless?" the Power asked. The first Bella just ignored her question and continued to stalk around. "It's only one way to know…" the Power smirked.

I looked on to the exchange and reflexively crouched, preparing to defend. But suddenly both were engaged in battle.

Growls ripped from the clash as scars resulted. How could I stand here and not help? I ran towards the battle zone.

I waited for an opening to attack the Power. But as soon I as attempted to intervene, fierce orange flames engulfed both of them.

"NOOOO!" I shrieked. I couldn't have been too late. I stepped forward and reached out in vain towards the pyre. As if reacting to me, the flames intensified.

Carlisle's voice lulled in my mind, "Her mind has to protect itself."

I couldn't physically save her anymore. I could only stand by and pray my Bella would come out unscathed. I fell to my knees and watched the flames dance around. Faint cries escaped from the fire.

Above the flames rose two distinct billows of smoke – one charcoal gray and the other muted purple. The clouds of smoke gradually swirled together, causing sparks.

"Edward," Alice thought, "the lights are flickering and we feel the atmospheric pressure building." I knew power and control was about to reach a critical level. I concentrated inside the fire for the last time trying to see if my Bella remained. Even for a vampire, the flames were too dense.

Emerging from the center of the fire, a faint glow appeared. I looked on curiously as the orb of white light grew. The glow brilliantly lit the fire and the orb expanded until the whole fire was devoured inside.

I realized an explosion was eminent. I gathered myself up and backed away slowly from the spectacle. I looked on it one last time, before I broke off running in Bella's mind at full speed. But my vampire speed was fast enough.

"EDWARD!" Alice screamed in my mind, but the explosion drowned out her cries. I couldn't outrun the waves of impact and soon was sucked into the power.

I felt myself suspended in the air and I floated around to see that my Bella and the Power were still battling. The intense glare from the glowing light made them silhouettes. I saw one Bella fall to the ground as the other suspended in the air. She outstretched her hands and raised them above her head as a shrill cry released from her throat and I looked on in horror. Which Bella was it?

Before I had time to decipher, the orb collapsed towards her. The implosion knocked me back down to the ground with enough strength to kill a person.

"BELLA!" I shouted. The fire died away leaving the sickening smoke covering the area thickly. Ashes scattered all over, covering the white surface. I reached out towards the scene. I stumbled up and sprinted back to the site.

"I'm too late. She is gone, never to come back. And it was my fault," I whispered to myself. I hung my head low and a pang of guilt filled me. I was responsible for the destruction of Bella.

I looked up again and saw the smoke creating a small eddy above. Swirling around, it was beginning to concentrate into a dusty purple. Gradually, the smoke retreated down to the ashes, revealing a figure –the winner.


	7. Phoenix

**PHOENIX**

**EDWARD**

The smoke lightened up around so I could clearly see a figure lying against the ground.

"Bella," I whispered as I ran to her side. But slowly, I backed away realizing this could also be the Power.

"Edward…" she choked.

"I'm here, love. Are you okay?"

"I guess so. Is she gone?" she whispered. I knew who she was referring to.

"Yes, yes she is. What about you?" I asked inspected over her. She was covered in ashes and a couple of bruises. But in her mind, she would always be the same clumsy Bella, so I didn't give it much weight.

"I'm significantly better, actually." She chuckled to herself. "Question, Edward?"

"Yes."

"When are you going to leave my mind, so I could talk to you in person?"

I laughed. She was back. I kissed her forehead before suggesting, "Let's leave together."

She smiled and kissed me back, before letting me return to my own body.

**BELLA**

My eyelids fluttered as I felt the sensation that I was not alone. Opening my eyes, I saw Edward, Carlisle, Alice, and Aro.

Aro. Did that mean he was going to…?

"I can assure you Bella, you are fine," Aro said amused by the look of distress on my face.

I turned back to Edward, who smiled crookedly. I reached up from him, breaking the restraints in the process.

"Sorry, Carlisle," I smiled apologetically.

"It's quite alright, Bella. We know we need to help you with that newborn strength, though," he chuckled. Everyone in the room joined him.

Gracefully, I rose from the chair and stood in front of Edward, who wrapped me in a loving embrace. I rested my head on his chest, relaxing.

"Glad to have you back, love," he whispered.

"Glad to be back," I whispered in his ear. He kissed the top of my head as he rubbed the small of my back.

After our reunion, Edward and I strolled downstairs. Aro, Alice, and Carlisle were already waiting with the rest of them.

"Oh, my precious baby," Esme cried as she came to hug me. She squeezed me so tight, I couldn't breathe – good thing I didn't need to.

Emmett came over and rumpled my hair, laughing. "Bella, I missed you."

Jasper walked over following Alice and nodded towards me. I smiled back. Alice came to hug me also. Rosalie stepped to me and smiled, "Bella…don't scare me like that again."

Everyone sat down, positioning to hear the tale. Jane looked at me grimly as if I had killed a dream of hers. My crazy self would have attacked her by now, but the new me – the old me – just shot a nasty look back.

"Okay, most of you are wondering what happened, right?" Everyone nodded in agreement. "Well, inside my mind there were two Bellas. The Old Human with a little vampire and the Power hungry one. She had all the crazy powers – and the attitude. She was created because my desire for human blood wasn't that strong. So, I never did have to build a resistance to my desires. Slowly, she began to take over. My mind only had room for one Bella so it did the only thing it knew to do: the phoenix effect."

"What? Bella you have to put this in layman's terms…"Rosalie spoke.

"I mean that two Bellas were set on fire. And out of that, I was resurrected like the phoenix. Except mine was a little more dramatic with imploding balls and fighting…" I chuckled. "The cloud of smoke Edward saw was the parts of her and me – you could say our souls being intertwined. But since I was the only Bella that survived, I got to pick what parts of her I wanted. The rest just burned to ashes."

"Well, it doesn't matter how you got back; we are just glad you did," Esme expressed.

"Now, I would like to apologize to everyone who I caused harm to, especially you, Edward." I turned my gaze to his and took his hands in mine. "I know I put you in a terrible position between turning me and then my request for relief. I promise I will never ever let you have to carry that burden again. Without you being there, I don't think your Bella would have ever come back. You had to show that love conquers all. And for that, I thank you. I love you." I kissed him lightly on the lips.

"Bella, I was hurting without you here. I loved you when you were…well…out of your mind. However, that one adventure was enough for me. Your mind is terribly intriguing though. No wonder when you were a human your dreams were so vivid. Your mind is like digital TV and I'm amazed because I was only getting analog. But in all seriousness, I promise to never ever let you experience that again, even if I have to risk my life to do it. I love you, too." He then, kissed me back passionately.

Someone cleared their throat and we sheepishly turned our attention back to our little audience.

"Well, Bella, you already knew we came to take you away," Aro began. "But after I saw what a horrific state you were in, my brothers and I decided to let you go…unless you care to join us…?"

"No, thank you. I'm happy where I am – with Edward," I smiled as I kissed Edward's cheek.

"Well, that's quite alright," Aro said approvingly. "But, we will be making frequent visits to make sure things don't regress." At that time, Marcus came towards Aro lightly touched his shoulder. Aro nodded and I understood the exchange. I used my powers to read minds to hear exactly what he was transmitting.

"Ah, thank you Marcus. That is very thoughtful," I said, appreciative. I turned back to everyone else. "According to Marcus, my relationship with Edward relationship has intensified. If that was ever possible," I joked.

Jane groaned in disgust. "Can't we go, now? I need to hunt now." Then, she looked at me, "and it looks like Bella does, too."

Indeed, I have not hunted since my first time with Edward. Moreover, all that mind battling drains you.

"Well, your eyes are pitch black, Bella. You have to make sure you keep yourself up. You never know when you will succumb back to the scary Bella." Carlisle looked at me pressing his point.

"Well, we need to get going. I am starting to feel a little thirsty myself," Aro chortled. "Until next time, stay out of trouble, Bella," and with that The Volturi were gone.

"Now, I guess we can go hunting, Edward," I suggested. He kissed me again before leading me out the door.

Back from hunting…

Hand in hand, Edward and I returned home – hopelessly in love. I kept caught him stealing glances at me when he thought I wasn't looking. If I was human again I would have blushed.

"Bella, honey, do you know how much I love the way you are. The way you walk, hunt, smile, talk…I love you," he said before opening the door for me.

I stood outside defiantly. "Edward, you have helped me enough today. Don't you think it's time for me to help you?"

"I'll think about…but for now, after you, my queen," he smiled. I curtsied for him and swept myself inside the Cullen house. Alice was standing at the foot of the stairs.

"Bella, want to go shopping?" she beamed. Uh oh, I didn't know what to. Truthfully, I would like to shop with Alice, but she wears me out.

"I'll take a rain check."

She frowned, but shrugged and went to ask Rosalie.

Edward and I plopped down on the enormous golden bed. I rolled over to the side so I faced him. I outlined his full lips before kissing them. His hand was at the nape of neck as my arms wound around his shoulders. I pulled away this time and he frowned. I laughed.

"It's not funny, Bella. I missed you so much. If I could cry, I would have. You know that? I thought I lost you…forever. You are the love of my life. If you were no longer in existence, I wouldn't have been far behind you."

I kissed him again. I sat up and rested against the headrest while Edward repositioned himself so that his head rested in my lap. I ran my fingers through his hair, massaging his scalp. "But I'm curious, Bella, what did you keep from that dominatrix?"

"Well, I have most of her powers, just without the attitude." He peered up at me. His eyes were stunning.

"Are you still repulsed by human blood?"

"I think so, I mean I never tried to be around humans. But I'll doubt I'll like it."

"Bella, you have no idea how good that feels," he stated as he moaned in satisfaction. I didn't know just massaging someone's scalp could do that but…

"So have your crazy desires changed?" Edward asked suggestively.

"Like what?"

"Oh I don't know: you desire to attack Jacob, smack me, or your crazy appetites." I knew what he was referring to, so I played along.

"Most of them," I hinted.

He rose from my lap. He repositioned his body over mine and his lips twitched at the sides as he tried to suppress a smile. "What is the exception?"

"I'll show you sometime," I suggested seductively.

His lips found mine as he worked his way down kissing my neck. "Love, I'll like for you to show me, now. It's amazing really. How after hunting you could still be, craving something," he spoke roughly with lust coating his tone.

"That's exactly how I feel," I smirked.

"Sweetheart…" Edward called, unbuttoning his shirt as he spoke.

"Yes," I responded doing the same. Suddenly, he was at my ear and I sighed.

"Are you ready to scream my name?" he purred.

I nodded as I let Edward satiate my craving.

**A/N I had originally planned to end the story right here, but I decided I had a couple ideas for it. So if you guys want me to keep going, just tell me otherwise...I won't. Review please... :)**


	8. Making Amends

Lost – Making Amends

**Okay someone asked me to do this and I don't know how good I am at it. It's not really a lemon, but than again it's not so pure...**

**BELLA**

"Edward," I wisped as his hands smoothed around my abdomen, cradling my back as I arched towards him. My arms slowly crept around his neck drawing him closer to me. Bringing his lips to mine, he caressed them passionately.

Gradually, his kisses migrated to my jaw bone until I traced them behind my right ear. "I love you, Bella," he whispered sweetly. I responded as if was my first time hearing him say it.

I smiled and whispered the words back. He continued to warm up my icy skin.

I secured a good grip onto his shirt sides and slid it off of him. Tracing his chest, I was in awe over how beautiful he was. It didn't matter how many times I saw him, I still became breathless. Luckily now, breathing wasn't essential. His hand stroked my face trailing down to my shirt which was still half-buttoned. I reached for my shirt getting through two buttons until I felt Edward softly take my hands.

"_Bella, would you please stop trying to take your clothes off._" His voice was rough with lust. "Let me do it."

His nimble fingers patiently unbuttoned, one by one. Soon, my torso was as exposed as his except the only thing covering me was a bustier. Before today, I figured this must have been something I had worn as the dominatrix Bella. Edward ran his hand over it causing a sigh to escape from me.

"Just take it off," I whispered to him. He nodded as I rose to let him release me. At his touch I trembled in desire, but he didn't quicken his pace. I wanted him to go faster, but he wanted to take his sweet time. "Edward, hurry please."

He was almost done when I turned to him, ready to encounter his lips again, but he placed his index finger cleverly on my lips. "If you're truly sorry and truly love me, you'll let me do this my way."

I took his finger into my mouth to show how serious I was about this. His finger glided out of my mouth, leaving its taste lingering. His eyes tried to smolder me into submission, but I just smoldered back. He frowned and lifted himself away from me leaving the ether between us. "Edward, I'm sorry, but I can't wait anymore. Stop teasing me."

"I'm not teasing anyone, Bella," he whispered. My eyes closed as I thought I was being controlling. I was supposed to be making Edward happy, not the other way around. I thought I was a cruel person for trying to get Edward to speed up our first reunion. I was supposed to be making amends with him.

He lightly brushed against my eyelids. "Edward, stop," I whispered, but I doubt he would. At this very moment he was probably smiling.

Opening my eyes, I was correct, for Edward was smiling as he cradled the nape of my neck. He placed butterfly kisses along shoulder, my collarbone. "Edward, please" I spoke, barely audible. "This is unbearable."

"No," he mumbled. His kisses progressed from my collar sliding sensually into my bosom. Over my silent heart, he said softly, "This is teasing…"

I didn't think I could take much more of this. I was on the verge of grabbing and laying him on the bed so I could have my way with him, but I fought against the urge. I moaned aloud so Edward understood exactly what he was doing to me. "Teasing is mean…" I pointed out before he leveled his face with mine.

"You mean like this?" His velvet voice was dripping with pleasure. He brought his right hand right above my knee, loitering his way up to the top of my thigh. I clenched in frustration as he grazed my leg.

"Edward, I'm going to ask you one more time to just…stop."

He smiled and kissed me lightly. "Or what?"

My eyes suddenly went raven black. "Or…I'll _rape_ you." He drew away from me again, pondering over my answer. I thought he had given up this time.

But, I thought wrong. Edward came back hovering over and his eyes were lakes of molten gold. His expression was arcane to me. Lowering his head, he inhaled my amatory fragrance and brought his lips to my ear again. My breath caught as he instantly pressed my body to his.

"I believe they don't call it rape if it's consensual," he uttered coarsely.

I grabbed his chin forcing a kiss onto his lips and he didn't object. Slowly, he rolled around, so I was on top. "Edward, you are way too patient," I muttered on his lips. His hands slid up and down my back as I knotted my fingers through his unkempt hair.

"No, silly girl, you're too _impatient_," he explained as he regained control and rolled until he was on top again. I shook my head in opposition when he took my face in his hands. "Bella, we have forever to be together and you want to rush. I'm going to do this _nice_ and _slow_ – they way I like it."

"Edward…"

"Shh, unless you're going to scream my name, there is no talking," Edward directed as he hitched my legs around his hips.

"Yes, sir. Now, give me something to scream about," I purred. He smiled as caused me to moan his name, and that's when I knew this was going to be a pleasurable night.

Morning –

Swells of passion filled the room. Edward and I lay together under the sheets with our limbs tangled together while he stroked tendrils of my hair as I rested on his bare chest.

"Edward…" I called out. He had moved on from playing in my hair to fondling with my ear when I raised my head to look at him.

"Yes, love."

"Don't – ever – make me wait again," I pressed lightly and he chuckled. "I'm not joking. I almost combusted and then you still would be tied up at this point."

He stroked the tip of my nose while he spoke, "I'm quite sure I wouldn't mind." Smiling, I replaced my head back onto his chest, inhaling his aroma. It was pleasant just to be able to lay with Edward and not have to worry about the rest of the world – no Jacob, Tanya, nor the rest of the Cullen family.

But then, I thought about all of the people I have hurt the past days and I felt horrible. I made reparations with Edward – I can honestly say I enjoyed it. But I don't think Edward would approve of me using the same method for the other people I hurt.

Tensed in self pity, I didn't notice when Edward kissed into my hair. "Bella, what's upsetting you so?"

I twisted myself around so I looked him directly in the face; his eyes flashed a concerned copper. "I feel like I have been such a dreadful person and put everyone in awkward positions, including you and -"

He silenced me with a soft brush of his fingers on my face. "Love, if you feel that way maybe you should give everyone a formal apology."

"You make it sound so easy…" I thought in my head.

"Because it is easy," he mentally corrected as he tried to smolder an intense golden glare on me. I felt my defense dwindle down. "All you have to do is decide to go through it."

"Well how should I go about this?" I countered.

"Well, you could start by making it up to me…" he smiled.

"Oh and how would I do that?" I was curious. I thought we already 'apologized.'

"We could start with you letting me buy you a new car…or pay for your tuition."

I shook my head because I didn't need anything else from Edward. "I don't think that such a good idea," I frowned.

"Bella are you going to be committed to this plan, because it starts with me, otherwise…" he trailed off. I sighed. Without being mentally prepared, I was breathing shallowly as I thought about Edward's offer. He wanted to give me things just to express my request for forgiveness; that was ironic.

"Edward…why is it that we are so backwards? Shouldn't I be the giving you things so you know I love you and I'm sorry?"

"No – I like us the way we are, backwards and all. After all, the lion did fall in love with the lamb."

I rested my chin on his sculpted torso while he touched my cheek. At the perfect opportunity, I quickly kissed his hand and slowly pushed my body up to level with his.

"Now, Bella, you mustn't do that," Edward stuttered.

"Do what," I asked coyly. My fingers dragged along his chest, leaving Edward breathing unevenly.

"_Tease_," he emphasized as he seized my hips in an iron grasp.

"You mean like this…" I brought my mouth to his, osculating with every erogenous notion that swept through my mind into his.

"Bella." His voice was muffled by my aggressive stunt. When I thought my job was done, I quickly pecked Edward under his chin and playfully tapped his cheek. Leaving Edward in a daze, I climbed off of him, grabbed the comforter from the bed, and draped it across my exposed body.

Tossing a suggestive glance over my shoulder, I strutted towards our bathroom – satisfied.

**EDWARD**

I shouldn't have teased Bella last night because this morning her teasing left me partially paralyzed. I couldn't think or act on what she was relating to me. There were so many…inappropriate thoughts that I only could pick up fragments. What I came up with was something about public place…a girl…the meadow…and the counter.

Once, my body regained sensation, I got up from the bed and went over to closet. I grabbed the first clothes I saw – something without buttons for Bella's sake – and exited the room. I needed to see Carlisle.

"Come in, Edward," he spoke from the other side of the door. I slowly slid into his office and took a seat in front of his desk. "What do I owe this visit?"

"It's…Bella," I whispered. My brows rose as I tried to suggest what I was implying.

He laughed lightly, "Was it a long night, Edward?"

"Yes…and an even longer morning. You see, Bella, has _changed_." I stared into his eyes to see if he understood.

Carlisle brought his hands onto the desk as he thought about what I was saying. "Oh…well that's to be expected Edward. She did choose what she wanted for herself and maybe that's what she wanted. It also could be another power we don't know about. But who knows. I certainly don't have the answers. The only thing I can say right now is watch – and I mean watch her this time – and see how she changes. It might only be a side effect from the traumatic experience."

"Thank you, Carlisle." I rose from the chair and proceeded on the way out of the door when he called for me.

"Edward, I know this is none of my business, but when you and Bella…_express your love_, try not to tease her; no woman likes to be teased."

I smiled nervously and swiftly exited heading towards the sitting area. Unsurprisingly, Emmett and Jasper were there involved in yet another round of video games. I plopped down onto the couch in dire need to hunt again – Bella was wearing me out.

"Guys, can we go hunting, like a camping trip?" I spoke up. Jasper put the game on pause; I knew he felt my anxiety.

"Does this have anything to do with you and Bella?" Jasper wondered which also caught Emmett's attention.

"Partially…but I also think that a male-bonding trip would be beneficial to all of us. It will give the girls a chance to catch up. So would do you say?" They turned to each other exchanging glances.

"Yeah…sure…why not?" They expressed at the same time. I smiled in relief as we all got up and headed towards the garage to 'pack' for our camping trip. Pulling down our human props, I stopped when Bella's voice filled my head.

"_Edward, where are you?"_ Ignoring her I continued to pull out necessary camp gear. "There you are!" she sang and I tensed up. "Don't ever leave me again, Edward," she said playfully. "Hey Emmett and Jasper."

"Hi." They waved in her direction as she came loping inside – she seemed a bit intoxicated.

"Oh and I'm sorry about laassst niiiighhhtt," she slurred. I didn't know what was wrong with her. She smiled peculiarly and swayed precariously. I nervously came to her side and gripped her waist. "Oh, Edward you shouldn't do that." She came towards my ear and whispered brazenly, "It turns me on." I gulped as she laughed under her breath. Emmett and Jasper snickered together but she didn't seem to notice.

"So, Edward, where are you guys going?" Puzzled, she folded her arms to her chest.

"Well, the guys and I decided to go camping."

"Great, I'll go with you."

"It was just going to be a male-bonding trip. I figured that you would start on your atonement and amends while I was gone. Or shop with Alice." Her face fell as she realized I didn't want her to come, but that wasn't the case at all. I wanted to be with her all the time, but not _be_ with her all the time.

"Oh. Well. That's fine. I'll go start on that now – call Jacob. Have fun, Edward." She wriggled out of my hold and exited without kissing me goodbye.

"I love you," I whispered as she disappeared out of my view. "Okay, so let's get going," I said to the guys. After that we loaded into the car Emmett's jeep, told our loved ones goodbye and began our journey of just the guys.

**Okay so people don't ask questions yet. I know it is a little confusing, but I will answer any questions in the next chapter. Just put them in your review. I know it has been a long time, too. Sorry :(**


	9. ErotomaniacTime

**A/N: Sorry for the delay. I sort of neglected this story because I have been wrapped up in my other one. I'm sorry!! :) Hope this chapter clears stuff up. **

**Erotomaniac - EDWARD**

"So Edward, what was the point of dragging us all the way out into the wilderness?" Emmett asked. We had just hunted and now I felt quite stable after Bella nearly drained me. Jasper already knew how I was feeling but he didn't know to what extent.

"Well, it's about Bella," I began. I didn't feel comfortable talking about my wife in front of my brothers. They were so insensitive sometimes, but Carlisle wasn't much help. I just needed to get this off my chest.

"What about her…" Jasper was getting impatient with my anxiety.

"Well…she's been…she…and I," I stumbled searching for the right word. "She's been demanding…a lot from me," I whispered though I knew they heard me.

"But isn't that a good thing? I mean if only I was getting some like that," Emmett trailed on. It was disturbing and inappropriate and images began to flash through his mind. Of course, I received the short end of the stick.

"Emmett, it is quite sickening when you think such perverted thoughts about Rosalie."

"Sorry," He muttered. "But doesn't Bella ever express or think about things like that?" He seemed too jumpy about this topic to be serious. I saw Jasper perk up in attention.

"Yes…but they are all…scary. For me, anyways."

"What are some?" Jasper asked. I scanned their thoughts.

I wonder if they are anything that I would have done.

Maybe she's a bigger freak than she leads on.

"Stop thinking about her like that!" I snarled. They ducked their heads in embarrassment. But now I was slightly anxious to share what my sweet Bella thinks. "Most recently she had random ideas about public places like the meadow and the counter. Which counter, I have no clue. And then she had the image of a girl in her head. I don't know what all that means yet."

Emmett nudged me in the arm. "Dude, you got yourself an Erotomaniac!" Great, now my love was a freak.

"How can you say it like it's a good thing?" I demanded.

"Edward, it's not bad. She's just taking control of what she wants and you seem to be a little slow about getting there. Am I right?"

"Yes," I grumbled.

"Maybe you should go just as fast as she wants you to…"

"But doesn't that defeat the purpose of living forever and never having to sleep. So, we can take our sweet time?"

"NO!" Jasper and Emmett shouted together.

"Edward," Jasper began, "you need to talk to your wife and tell her how you feel."

"I don't think that's possible. When I'm around her, she gets anxious and one thing leads to another…"

"Can't you have some self-control?"

"I missed her, so I went along with it."

"Well, she is still your Bella. But just a freakier one. Maybe once she reaches her first birthday her crazy craving will dwindle away with her power."

"Maybe you're right. I'll just have to give it sometime. But for now, I'm going to have to lay down some rules and limits with Bella."

"Good, be a man, Edward." They patted my shoulders as I smiled in satisfaction.

**Time - BELLA**

Edward had left me. I convinced myself that it wasn't permanent, but it still hurt that he left. Did he feel this way when I "left" him? I figured it wounded him worse because he didn't know if I was ever coming back.

But all I had was time. All we ever have as vampires is time. Time to chill. Time to work. Time to get rich. But never time to grow old. I wanted time with Edward, but he wanted to go away with his brothers.

I could call Jacob. I needed to apologize to him for a behavior. But I didn't know how to word my apology. Jacob and I never really got back on good terms after I married Edward. I must have broken his heart. But he broke mine, too. He put me in an awkward situation and made me choose between my two loves. Why couldn't he just stay a friend? Was that too much to ask?

Now, I was getting bitter. I needed to call him before my attitude colors my tone. I grabbed my cell phone that Edward insisted on buying and dialed Jacob's number.

"Hello." It was Billy.

"Hi, Billy. This is uh…Bella. I'm calling for Jacob. Is he there?"

The line went silent.

"Hello?" I called out.

"Um…Bella. Jacob's not here right now." That must have been a lie. Billy was always covering for Jacob when he didn't want to talk to me.

"Oh…well, is he with Sam?"

"No."

"Quil? Embry? Paul?" I was getting desperate.

"You know, I'm not really sure at the moment."

"Well can you give him a message?"

"Sure."

"Could you tell him that I'm sorry and I was out of mind? And that when he matures enough to answer the phone that he can call me." And with that I slammed the flip phone closed, ending the conversation.

Frustrated, I sat on the disarrayed bed. I had to think of something to do to occupy my time. I need to get a hobby. I found myself cracking my knuckles in anxiety. What could I do? I could only think of one thing now.

"Alice," I whispered. I was about to rap lightly on her door, when she flung it open.

"Yes! Let's go, now!" she screamed.

"But, you didn't let me ask."

She turned to me, excitement riddling her eyes. "Forget formalities, let's hit the road now. I ready to shop."

"Thank you," I mouthed. The first one on my list to make amends with: Alice.

We approached her slick Porsche in the garage with Alice in high spirits. "So I figured it the weather would be just perfect for us in New York. So, if we get to the airport in the next…35 minutes, we can make the last morning flight," she prattled.

"Wait! Who said anything about New York?" I crossed my arms stubbornly.

"Me, silly. Obviously, you're missing Edward even though he's only been gone for…15 minutes. You need to get out like he did. I would take you out of the country, but I would like to save that for another day. Maybe after Tomorrow. Now let's cut the chitchat. Do you want to shop or not? Valuable shopping time is ticking." Alice had now opened her trunk.

"Yes."

"Okay, now get in."

I widened my eyes in horror. I didn't think the trunk was appropriate place to store a person.

"Not in the trunk. In. the. Car." Alice had dumped two suitcases into the trunk. She must have packed my suitcase without my knowledge. I guess she figured I was going to come around someday.

In revelation, I climbed into the passenger seat while Alice joined me. "Okay…I see that New York is out. We are going to Los Angeles," Alice muttered to herself. "This is good because I can drive my car and still look hot." Then she turned to me ready to go.

"Let's go," I smiled as she slipped on a pair of pearl white aviator sunglasses.

"Here, Bella." She threw a black pair at me and I slid them on feeling like a superstar. I forgot about everyone else for the moment. This was going to Bella time, the only person I needed to make amends with right now. I didn't care if Jacob ever accepted my apology, and I didn't care if Edward never came home. For a while.

Accelerating at alarming speeds down a wide stretch of highway, Alice and I rocked out to our new favorite "Shut Up and Drive." We were approaching the chorus again when my phone rang. It was Edward.

"Answer it and it will be your last," Alice announced gravely. I thought about it for awhile as the phone continued to ring in my hands. Did I really need to talk to him? I looked at the phone one last time before I made the decision to leave him hanging. He was going to really have to miss me. "Good, Bella, now you're making him work for it."

"It?" I questioned.

"I already know what you guys are…at ends about. It's obvious. But _you_, Bella need to get a hold of yourself." She had taken her eyes off the road to look at me. Her expression was demonic and reproachful. "You are moving way to fast for slow Edward. You could have given him a heart attack with what you did. Though clever, you need to downsize your seductiveness and be patient. You want so much that he has to hunt all the time. Slow down…" she explained.

"But I don't want to. I like moving fast. We are vampires, remember?" Crossing my arms, I stared at her as she processed my response. Then, almost giving as whiplash, she broke her speed down to fifty.

"Bella, we may move fast normally, but when it comes to love, you want it to last forever, right? Don't you love they way he cradles you and holds you tight as if afraid to let you go? Or they he kisses you ever so slowly and then gradually gets deeper into it? Or they he caresses you as if you were made of porcelain?" Her eyes returned to the road as we passed highway patrol. The guys in the car eyed Alice's Porsche suspiciously as if her car was screaming for trouble.

"Yes, I love all those things."

"Then why would you MESS THAT UP!" she scorned.

"Because I need him. It's like I can't control it, I just need _Edward_." Alice looked at me, worried. "No, I'm not 'crazy' anymore, it's just that it's like instead of craving power, I crave him. All the time. My thoughts, my demeanor, it's all changed. It's good that he's gone; I would be going crazy right now. This is like my temporary addiction right now until I'm perfectly balanced again."

"Hmm…"

"But you know what is truly interesting. Is that afterwards, I feel…high, like I'm intoxicated with him. It feels good, but strange."

"It doesn't sound healthy," she voiced while picking up speed.

"It's not." I knew it wasn't healthy, but then again fast food wasn't healthy for humans and it still was good. And Edward was good. Now, he truly had become my brand of heroin. "So, I called Jacob…"I began.

"Did he answer?"

"No – the jerk. He had Billy lie for him for like the umpteenth time. I'm seriously getting fed up with him." Anger crept into my voice. "He is always making me choose. It's like everything in his world is in black or white – I either be with him or be with Edward. Now, when I try to apologize and reconnect as a friend, he totally belittles my attempt. Ugh!"

Alice turned to me with the gentlest eyes and her voice rose into her silver tinkling pitch. "It's only important that you tried Bella. That's all people can expect - is that we try. Oh we'll be in Los Angeles in another hour or so. The stupid patrol broke my rhythm."

I pondered over her explanation as she fussed over schedules. Is that really what people expected, just that we try? But sometimes, trying doesn't seem like enough. And my trying wasn't good enough.

"What are you doing?" she hissed.

I was dialing Jacob's number as I reassured her, "Relax, it's not Edward." I put my ear to the earpiece.

"Hello," the voice hesitated.

"Jacob," I whispered.

"Bella? Is that really you?"

"Yes." Why couldn't I bring my voice over one decibel? "Jacob, I'm really sorry about…everything. I messed up. Big time and I couldn't control it. I'm sorry."

"Bella," he chuckled. "It's okay. I understand that you are sorry."

"No, you don't. Is there anyway I could make this up to you? Anything?" I pleaded.

"Actually, Bella," he voice dropped in seriousness. "I think the best thing for us right now is to stay away from each other. We're natural enemies, now. It would only complicate matters worse right now. Truthfully, I don't think you're stable right. You see a little off…"

"No! I'm fine! I promise. Jacob, don't do this to me. You of all people know that you would always be my friend. What do you need?"

"Time."

"Time?" I was confused yet humbled by his request.

"Yes, we just need time. I need to…heal."

"But you are healed. You have to be; werewolves heal quickly."

"You have the missed the point."

"No. Wait? What point?"

"Bella, I have to go --"

"Wait, Jacob –" The line went dead, but I kept the phone up to my ear, praying the miraculously he would come back. He had to come back he was Jacob, my Jacob. I felt on the verge of breaking down.

"Bella, honey, you tried. That's all that matters," Alice tried to comfort, but sadly trying wasn't enough. In silence we rode into Los Angeles. This trip now seemed like a bad idea. I thought I was going to be running towards adventure, but now it seems like I'm running from home to escape the madness that I caused that I cannot fix.

Hopefully the trip gets better, but as they say _things take time._


	10. Intervention

**Lost – Intervention**

So the trip was a bust. It was supposed to distract me from Edward, but it only made me want him more. Sadly, I came home to an empty room and even worse an empty bed.

"Alice, that had to be your worse idea ever," I grumbled into the Edward-laced pillows.

"Well, it would have been better if you weren't so caught up in getting a fix." Alice's voice dripped with disgust as she placed the shopping bags into the closet. "I know what you need, Bella. You need a hobby." Alice stood in front of me as I lay curled on the bed chanting Edward's name. I was trying to render him to my side. I was an official addict of Edward – my husband. "What you are going through right now is a common characteristic of an addict and I need to wean you off of him."

"I'm not a puppy, Alice," I groaned. "I just want my man. Can't that be a hobby?"

"No," she said, while pulling me up from the bed. "You need to pull yourself back together again. You're a half-healed spirit and I need to patch the rest of you back up. Hobby is the way to go."

"What am I supposed to do? Stay home and knit?"

"Well, that is always a possibly…" Alice said, raising her voice an octave. She quickly grabbed my feet and tried with all her might to pull me from the bed. "Come on, Bella," she strained through gritted teeth. "You. Have. To. Work. With. Me."

But I was not letting go of this wonderful bed. I held steadfast to the sheets, but then I thought that too much of our strength could seriously wreck the bed. I slackened in resistance, and Alice quickly took advantage of it.

"But Alice," I whined as Alice dragged me from the bed.

"Don't 'but Alice' me. Let's go." A vampire speed she led me downstairs to Esme who was relaxing on a divan reading a French Vogue magazine.

"Esme, can you help me find Bella a hobby?"

She folded down the magazine in her lap and sat up. "Well, Bella, dear, what do you like to do?"

On instinct I thought Edward, but I couldn't say that aloud. I thought for a moment. "I like to read? And cook." Esme considered my only two interests while Alice zoned out into her own vision. This was a face I had seen many times before, but this was one of the only times it scared me.

"Perfect," Alice clapped while she snapped out of a vision.

"What did you see?" I groaned.

"Bella, we are going to visit Tanya."

"Hold up, why? Do you remember the "smack down" that went on in your kitchen the other day?"

"Of course, but we have to go visit Tanya, okay?"

"So, the key to my happiness is with Tanya," I reviewed flatly.

"Yes."

I burst into giggles, but instantly muffled them when Esme and Alice looked at me like I was crazy. Alice's face showed no traces of humor; she was serious.

"I'm not going." I walked out of the room with Alice on my tail.

"Aww, come on, Bella, you have to go. Edward said you needed to make amends with people, which includes Tanya. So why not?"

"Because Tanya still wants my man, I don't think I will be able to control myself around her."

"Well, according to my vision –"

"Well, are our visions aren't always concrete are they?" Alice's face dropped into anger, and Esme can see an argument arising. "Didn't think so?"

"Bella – your tone," Esme scolded. I apologized.

"I don't think you decided on this anyways," Alice smirked. "All I have to do is push the speed dial number and _zip_, we're off to Alaska."

"Alice," Esme groaned. Alice apologized.

I knew to whom she was referring to – Edward. All she would have to do was explain to him what she saw and then he would be more than thrilled to help me. Ugh, they cared too much. "I guess I could try…"

Alice started to bounce in glee.

"But only one condition: Edward gets to come, too."

"Deal breaker Bella," Alice began. "Edward can't come; that's like having alcohol in your possession as you are in rehab. That's contraband. No Edward."

"No fair!"

"Girls!" Esme reprimanded. "Can't we carry on as civilized young ladies? Now, here's the plan. Bella," she said turning to me. "You will go to Alaska and get some help, okay?" I nodded in understanding. "Alice," she directed her attention away from me. "You will supervise the whole thing. Yes? But, Edward can go…" I started to smile. "…as long as you guys go to school. No school. No husband. Do we have a deal?"

I had to consider that: did I really desire to go to college just to have Edward. Was it worth it? "Yes, we have a deal," I announced; Edward was definitely worth it.

"Great, I will call Tanya now and make the arrangements and you, two, start packing." Alice and I excused ourselves from Esme and went up to pack.

One problem: how long would I be in Alaska? I had no idea how long it was going to take me to rid myself of this infectious desire for Edward.

"Just pack enough for two weeks. I will have the rest traveled up with the boys." Alice was standing at the door.

"Okay," I answered while heading into the closet. The clothes overwhelmed me; there were too many for me to look at. I was never into clothes as much as Alice was, but I had grown to appreciate them more. But when it came to packing, I hated to pick and choose between what to take.

I started in the far corner throwing down a couple of blouses and jeans. I pulled down several jackets though I knew I wouldn't need them. I hate having to disguise myself in public, but then I thought Edward had to do this for me. I guess I could do it, too.

Soon, I had three suitcases full of undergarments, jeans, shirts, sweaters, jackets, and a nice pair of boots and sneakers.

"All packed?" Alice asked as she was trailed by five suitcases. I eyed them unnervingly. She followed me attention and laughed. "Oh, these? Two of them are shoes alone."

I almost had a heart attack. Who in there right mind would need so many shoes? I was only bringing two pairs and Edward could bring the rest, but no, Alice had two suitcases full and still had more she wanted Jasper to bring.

"Oh, and I kind of invited Rosalie," Alice smiled.

"WHAT!"

"Well, she asked and I said 'yes.'"

I slouched and flopped onto my bed. "Wow, is everyone going to be involved in my little rehabilitation?"

"Weren't we all before?"

I glared at her. "This is different. I'm not crazy. I just…no, I am crazy. But, that's beside the point. Are we all going to enroll in school, now?"

"Yes, but everything is going to work out just fine. We will be going to school as a sort of…safety net for you."

"Oh, so you mean you all will be the huge guys dressed in white who sedates patients who have suffered a relapse?"

"If you want to think of it that way then," Alice said weighing her words carefully. "Then, yes, we are."

"Great, now I have an entourage."

"Bella, it won't be so bad. You just need something else to occupy your time."

"Yeah, yeah, whatever," I mumbled.

Alice and I headed down stairs and began to load up the car again. Wasn't I just in this car? Esme came around the corner with Rosalie.

"I just got off the phone with Tanya. She said she would love to have you all as company and is anxiously awaiting your arrival," Esme spoke.

I had a feeling that Tanya just waited to see me again. I would be on turf.

Rosalie also began to load her own car up with our luggage and before I knew it, I was on the road again.

Alice manipulated her radio to whatever station she wanted, though I was in no such mood to enjoy music. "Are you still upset?"

"No," I said, almost too quickly.

"Come on, Bella, we're only doing this for your own good," she smiled, and playfully nudged me in the shoulder.

"What if I don't want help?"

"That's the first sign: denial."

"Shut up, Alice."

"Bella, it is going to be fun. Don't you want to be independent from Edward? Don't you want to be able to be free from the desire of him?"

"Is it really that bad?" I questioned.

"Sadly, hon, but yes, you are now venturing in some very left wing addictions and the only person who can help you right now is Tanya."

"And how can Tanya help me?" I spat back.

"Lose the temper. And you will have to ask her once we get there. Your best bet right now is to relax. And I watching you so don't pull any funny business."

I didn't intend to, but I wasn't sure about Tanya's intentions.

**EDWARD**

"Alice just called, she wants us to meet her in Alaska," I announced to the guys as we were heading home.

"Why?" Jasper asked.

"Intervention for Bella. Apparently, she is not healthy and they are going to Tanya's."

"Insane in the membrane," Emmett sang. When I smacked him, he just laughed. "What? She's your crazy wife."

"How I know it," I muttered.

"Well, whatever Alice has planned, I'm sure it will make Bella better and balanced," Jasper assured. He always spoke so insightfully. "So, what are we to do?"

"She said packed clothes and pick up the rest of their luggage. We are to meet her at Tanya's house, but she said to make sure they are whether suitable because we will be enrolled into school."

"WHAT!" Jasper and Emmett shouted in unison.

"I could have sworn I just got out of school and now I have to go back?" Emmett complained. Jasper just groaned.

"Alice said it shouldn't be too bad; we're only going to make sure Bella doesn't get out of hand," I explained.

"Then, why are _you_ going?" Jasper asked.

That was a good question; why was I going? Wasn't I the root of all Bella's problems? And how did I end up on board with the plan?

We pulled into the garage and ran into the house to see Esme waiting by the stairs.

"Boys, may I have a quick word?" We stopped to listen to mother. "When you go up to Alaska, don't make it hard on each other. Bella needs help and that's the initial plan. Don't do anything stupid." Her attention was turned to Emmett.

He put up his hands in defense. "I won't. I promise, mom." But I knew better.

"Okay, and Edward, don't be Edward," she smiled.

"Okay," I chuckled.

"And Jasper, be on the constant look out for changes in her attitude." But I knew Bella could manipulate her emotions and hide them from Jasper, now. But I didn't want to disclose that information aloud.

"I love you all," Esme finally finished before drawing us into a hug. "Make me a proud mom." She released us and went into our bedrooms to find suitcases waiting to be picked up. I came out better than anyone else.

I came down the stairs to see Jasper complaining to Emmett about the shoes Alice packed.

"I mean, why does she need so many shoes? I told her I wasn't going to let her buy anymore and you know what she did? She had a vision. A vision! And she said 'you wouldn't dare.' I knew right then that Alice had more control over me than I had previously imagined."

"I understand," Emmett said. "You see, Rosalie has her moments of control. But the thing is I let her pretend she is in control, so I come out looking like the good guy. But sometimes, I just have to put my foot down and say 'Women, we are going to do this my way.' And you know what? She listens."

"She actually does what you tell her to do?"

"No," Emmett continued. "But she listens."

I couldn't help but laugh. This was way too funny. "I don't know what you're laughing about, _Eddie_. Last time I heard, you're girl has you whipped," Emmett said.

"No she doesn't," I retorted.

They burst into laughter. "Yeah, she does." Emmett finished putting the last of Rosalie's luggage into the car. "Edward, when Bella says 'jump', you say 'how high?' You guys practically float around each other. She has you whipped."

"No," I tried in defense. But, it was true. Bella had me and I was hers. I didn't mind following her, forever.

They continued to laugh as we got into our respected cars. Jasper rode along with Emmett and I could see they were still laughing at me. I saw Emmett pretend like he was cracking a whip. I turned away from their humiliation and started my car.

We traveled down the highway, but my mind kept drifting back to the comment about Bella being in control. Did I really let her have that much power? Is that where our troubles begin? I guessed so, but there was that moment that I was in control and the plan backfired. Bella still came out on top.

**BELLA**

After several hours in a car, I saw Tanya standing outside ready to greet us. Here goes nothing.

I stepped out the car and was immediately immersed into a hug with Tanya. "Oh, Bella! It's sooo nice to _see _you again!" she exclaimed. "I couldn't wait until you got here! Oh my, look at Alice."

She continued to greet Alice and Rosalie while she shuffled me to the side. Oh no she didn't. I saw the rest of her coven assemble outside of the house. I didn't no if I was supposed to come over and introduce myself so I stayed put. If anybody wanted to talk to me, they can come over.

I saw one blond vampire come over towards me. I surveyed her. She was just like a miniature Tanya; her demeanor was coquettish.

"Hi, you must be Isabella. I'm Irina," she smiled. I shook her hand.

"Hi."

"Tanya has told me so much about you.'

"I bet she has," I said sarcastically.

"But just so you know," she said bringing her voice down. "I don't like you." I opened my eyes in confusion. "Hope you enjoy your stay," she smiled while blithely strolling back to her sisters.

I wondered if anybody noticed this little exchange. But, sadly, they all seemed caught up in their own conversations. I drew up my sleeves and stepped towards where Irina was. If I couldn't have Edward, I could at least kick some vampire butt.


	11. Observation

**Lost – Observation**

"I'm going to kick your little vampire –"

"As I was saying, Bella," Tanya chimed as she lightly touched my shoulder. I sighed and regained my composure. "I'm glad that you all came to join us. Now, let's proceed in inside."

I walked inside Tanya's home and was amazed at its pristine quality. It seemed like Tanya's coven had an OCD for cleanliness.

"Please remove your shoes at the door," Irina announced to us, but mainly kept her gaze on me. I did what I was told though I wasn't happy about it.

After Tanya gave us a tour of the house, she pulled me to the side and whispered, "Bella, could you meet me in my office?"

"Uh…sure, I guess." I didn't know what to expect from this meeting, but I knew I should follow directions. I made my way through the newly familiar house and found Tanya's office.

Characterized my burgundy walls and dark furniture, the room was actually cozy. I didn't know whether to take a seat or not, so I continued to stand and soon I found myself wandering around her office. Various pictures of her hang in the office and they all had one thing in common: men. All her pictures she took had men in it except for one which she took with her coven which still included Ebenezer. I continued to walk around and noted the chaise that she had in the office. It looked awfully comfortable and I wanted to rest on it, but I decided against and looked around again. She had various books on the human mind on the bookshelf. I wouldn't figure Tanya to be so interested in anything, but men.

"How do you like it?" she asked, turning my attention back to her.

"It's nice," I responded. She came in the office walking towards her chair and desk.

"Have a seat Bella." I took a seat in the chair opposite her desk though the other chair was beginning to call my name. "Okay, let's get down to business," she remarked while sliding on a pair of reading glasses. "They make it seem a little more professional," she answered as if she read my mind.

I raised my hand as if I was in grade school. "Umm…Tanya how can you help me?"

"All questions can and will be answered in the end." She clicked a pen open and began to ask me questions.

"Okay…full name?"

"Isabella Marie Swan Cullen."

"Age?"

"Does it matter?" I said a little sharp.

"Age, please."

"Eighteen since my _change_."

She peered up from her glasses as she scribbled down notes. "Do you know why you are here?"

"Hmm…Alice forced me?"

"So you are easily pressured?"

"No," I responded too quickly. Tanya just stared at me for a moment before she wrote again.

"Next question. Bella, how often would you say you and Edward engage in _physical activities_?"

My eyebrow rose while I leaned forward in curiosity. "Isn't that a little personal?" I questioned.

She removed her glasses for a moment and stroked through her hair. "Bella," she sighed. "It's only you and me. Everyone else is out hunting and this is strictly confidential. I just need an honest answer. How often?"

"Two or three times…"

"A week?"

"A night," I squeaked out, but Tanya didn't react.

"And how do you feel after that?"

I held up my hands defensively. "Hold up! Tanya, are you like a shrink or something, because this is weird."

She chuckled. "I guess it is, but I thought Alice told you."

"Told me what?"

"I guess I should have started from the beginning. Well, when I was little I always had a fascination with the human mind. It intrigued me to know why we thought they way we did. When I had reached my twenty-fifth birthday, I found myself forced out on the street. I did the only thing I could do for money, though I wanted to be a respectable women. I found a job working at a brothel, and one night I found this very handsome fellow. Come to find out, the guy was a vampire and he bit me. He said it was to make me more beautiful.

"But eventually, he got bored of me and left me without any help or guidance. I was lost and didn't have someone to turn to. Eventually, my life got better, and I even gained a family in the process.

"But being a vampire can get boring at times, so I ended up going to school and majoring in psychology. I am a trained psychologist and psychiatrist, and Alice wanted me to help you with your problem. And I know most about it, but I wanted to hear your point of the view. It's better to judge people on multiple views instead being narrow-minded. So, can you work with me? All I want to do is make you better." She smiled at me while she reached her hand across the desk.

I eyed it for a while. Wow, Tanya had some brains to her; I wouldn't have imagined. A grin broke across my face and I reached out for her hand.

"Okay, Bella, for me to be successful in this, you are going to have to work with me. This isn't going to be easy. I going to have to reprogram you like a computer, but I need to know what bugs I am dealing with."

"Okay."

"So, back to my last question," she said putting back on her glasses. "How do you feel afterwards?"

I struggled for the right words. "Not…quite…satisfied, yet blissful."

"Ah uh. How long have you and Edward been apart since your transformation?"

"This trio has been the longest…unless you count my mental trip."

"I see. Well, to get a proper diagnosis I am going to have to run a few tests. Is that okay?"

"It's fine."

Tanya stood up and went around her desk to grab a manila folder from a file cabinet. Then, she came back to her desk and pulled out images that looked like a kindergartener had gotten into black ink. "Bella, do you know what these are?"

I looked at them carefully. "Are they…inkblots?"

"Precisely, they are used in the Rorschach test or commonly known as the inkblot test. Now, I just want you to tell me what you see in each image. Can you do that?" I nodded and she drew up the first card.

"I see a butterfly."

"Good. Now, what about this one?"

"That is a dog."

"Okay. How about this one?"

I stared the card for a while, not able to interpret anything immediately, but slowly an image started to emerge. "I rather not share…" I started to blush at my certain embarrassment over my first immediate thought.

"Bella," she reprimanded. "You have to; it's the only way.

"Okay," I grumbled. When I explained to Tanya that I saw x-rated material, she quickly changed to another activity.

"Okay, Bella. Let's try something new: I am going to say a word and you are going to tell me the first thing you can think of."

I wasn't too sure about this exercise. I remembered when Edward did rapid fire with me and I began to blurt out answers without giving them much thought. But, I reluctantly agreed if it was for good.

"So let's try a ball."

"I think of the Cullens."

"Why is that?"

I shrugged. "They took me to see them play baseball in a clearing."

"What about flowers?"

"A meadow – the one Edward and I used to go to."

"Car."

"Too many things come to mind. First, the Tyler Crowley accident. Second, the Cullens erratic driving. Three, Alice stealing a Porsche. And…the list could go on and on."

"Okay, let's try death."

"Edward."

"Why?"

"He is the one who gave me death and love. That's why I am here with you."

"Dog."

"Jacob."

"Cat."

"Victoria."

"Lion."

"Edward."

Tanya sighed. "Okay, Bella what about sleep?"

"Edward." I thought about the times Edward would hold me while I slept in his arms when I was human. Then the word "sleep" also made me think what Edward and I do instead of that.

"Blood."

"Edward."

"Music."

"Edward."

"Well, Bella, I take it you have found your niche with relating to Edward now. So, let's move on. Shall we?" Tanya gestured with her hand and a smile was on her face. Was this the same lady who thought about my man constantly? I couldn't concentrate on her thoughts enough to know what she thought.

"Yes, Tanya. Let's move on."

"I want you to tell me about your mental trip, Bella. I need this information to help you."

I shuffled in my chair uneasily. Then, I began to spill out details about my powers, behaviors, and traits. I was so comfortable just gushing to Tanya about my craziness, that I didn't notice how long I had been talking.

"Well, first, I can tell you the names of some of the stuff you suffer from right now," Tanya began. "You said you had telekinesis, right?" She looked up at me.

"Uh…yes."

"Actually, you had psychokinesis."

"What's the difference?"

"Telekinesis is the ability to move or manipulate objects without using any physical force. But you, Bella, have the advanced ability to affect them as well using your power of psychodynamics."

"Tanya, please explain in layman's terms."

"What I am saying is that your feelings were governing your actions and your actions were governing objects. It was like you had a magnetic charge to you. The stronger your attitude, the more electronegative you became."

"But what about the little Phoenix thing?"

"Right, that. You were undergoing a psychomachia. That's a conflict between spirit and flesh. You were fighting against a new Bella trying to save the old Bella, but in the end, you are both.'

"Wow, that's a lot to take in."

Tanya frowned down at her notes. "Sadly to say, Bella, but you are dealing with an addiction that encompasses psychosexuality and erotomania. You are overindulging and you use Edward to fill your needs. You are sex addict, hon."

I gasped at her words, even if I had heard them. "Well, isn't it okay if I am married?"

"Bella, it doesn't matter. Unfortunately, it doesn't have to be Edward, but you have such a strong bond with him, that you won't venture out of the relationship. But at the rate your headed, you might take anyone."

"Um…wow," I said sarcastically. That wasn't good; maybe I was crazier than I thought.

Tanya smiled. "Yes, I know. But now," she said standing up and walking towards the office door. "I have to observe you, and the rest are here." When she said the rest, I thought they were back from hunting, but she meant that the boys were here as well. I saw, Edward come out of the car and ran up and hugged.

"Don't ever leave me again," I whispered into his ear. Everything Tanya had said went out of the window at that moment. This was what I have been waiting for. I wanted to feel Edward again. He chuckled and held me tight, though I could feel how tense he was. "It is okay, Edward. I'm going to be fine. Tanya is helping me."

"I only want the best for you," he said softly, and that's when I hit him across the cheek. He massaged it as he glared at me. His eyes shot black. "What was that for?!"

I smiled. "That was for leaving me in the first place and not telling me why. And then I was depressed for a while. And Jacob won't talk to me. And I got dragged up here and now, I am being treated like a patient in the psychiatric ward."

"Oh. Well, you still didn't have to slap me, Bella," he hissed.

"I know." I pulled him back into my arms and kissed underneath his chin. While I clasped Edward's hand in mine and walked up towards the house, I saw Emmett and Jasper smirking in the distance. What were they so giddy about?

I could feel Tanya's gaze on me as Edward and I sat at a small round table and talked about why I was here. "So, basically Edward, I am crazy."

He laughed and took my hand. "I never loved you because you were normal."

"Yeah, but you never loved me because I was crazy either."

"You don't know that," he smiled and kissed m forehead.

"But now, I have to go to school and get help," I whined.

"That will be great for you, Bella. You should been going to school anyways."

"But Edward, I don't want to be constantly on the lookout to see if my hormones are in check. I don't want to be in class plotting how I going to rape my professor. I rather plot how to rape you," I smiled. But he didn't find it amusing. "Why did you leave me Edward?"

His hand retreated from mine and he took a deep breath. "I needed to leave. I had to get some space to breathe."

"Why didn't you just tell me this before you left?"

"Bella," he sighed as the gold faded from his eyes again. "I needed to clear my head and think about us. You have to understand that I love you, but…"

"Edward, tell me." But his look screamed that he didn't want to go on. He didn't want to say what he thought. "Edward?" I whispered to him. "What is it?"

_I'm scared for you._ He thought and I froze. Edward was scared. And I had caused that fear. I didn't know how to respond to that.

Slowly, I slid the chair back and left Edward. I forcefully took Tanya's hand and sprinted back to her office. "Bella, What are?!"

I closed the door behind me and crossed my arms. "Tanya. We start now."

She shook her head. "Bella, I wasn't done observing."

"I don't care! You know I am crazy. Heck, I know I am crazy. Now, let's get this treatment started. What do I have to do?"

"First, you have to get everything that can trigger a relapse out of the house. No beds, no suggestive clothing, No nothing."

"Okay."

"Then, you and Edward need to sit down and discuss clear boundaries right now. That slap thing wasn't totally unnecessary."

"Okay," I grumbled. Why did it suddenly feel like I was regressing in this relationship? It was like I was going to have to go back to Start.

"And then, you will choose classes that you find interesting to distract you."

"That's it?"

"That's it – for now." I groaned and left Tanya's office, but I was determined to make things right. I had to make things right, again. How many times would I mess up before Edward and I could have our fairytale ending?


	12. Diversion

**A/N:** It's been a while. I feel horrible for neglecting this fanfic. But hey, life gets in the way. So, I slowly progressing with this one (got to get back into the groove). It's kinda short.

**Lost - Diversion**

"Why do I have to pick classes?" I complained. "Isn't there a way I can let someone pick for me?" I threw the selection book at Alice who caught it in the air and threw it back.

"Bella, come on. It isn't that bad. Just pick a couple of classes that jump out at you. Something that you would like to do."

I looked at the page and picked out the first three class numbers I saw randomly on the page. "There, I'm done," I smiled. I handed the book back to Alice. She matched the codes to the classes and stared at me disbelievingly.

"Mechanical Engineering? You're kidding me?"

"What?" I zoomed back to the book. Sure enough, in black ink I choose that class. Who was I trying to be? Rosalie?

Alice was laughing and that was when Edward stepped in. He kissed my cheek. It seems like Edward and my physical relationship was back to the way it was in the beginning. The minimum. I was on probation – with Edward. I didn't really mind it as much I as I thought I would. It only enhanced our love for each other.

"How is everything going?" he smiled.

"Horribly," I complained. "I can't decide on what to take. Everything is just so…blah. I thought high school was bad enough with class selection. But this is torture. Help me, please?" I was begging.

Edward hesitantly took a seat and pulled the book towards him. "Now, let's see. Uh, there is a good choice," he cheered.

I looked where his finger was pointing. "You want to take a science class? Why? So, I can be with you?"

"Precisely."

"Okay, sign me up." I hurriedly wrote down the class code and Alice glared at me from the other side of the table. "Alice," I sighed. "Nothing bad can happen in school. Right?"

She didn't answer. Instead, she got up from the table. I won.

Nope. I lost.

Tanya came in and sat at the table. "Bella," she chimed. "Maybe you should on some classes on your own. Some of your own hobbies."

"Okay. I want to take this class," I smiled. But Tanya reached across the table and took my hand. I sighed. "Okay, so I don't want to take the class. But I have to fill my schedule with some diversions. I need something!"

Tanya smiled. "I will help you."

After fifteen minutes of debating what classes would suit me, I found myself taking classes that could only lead to one major – psychology. Tanya claimed it would help me understand myself better. I rolled my eyes. It was just another thing in the way.

But should this crazy desire go away within a year? I really hope so.

My first day of school -

"I'm scared," I whispered into Edward's ear. He looked over at me and squeezed my hand.

"I'm with you. I won't let anything happen," he vowed. Hand-in-hand, we walked up to the campus about to depart to head to our own classes.

"I will see you later," I smiled before I left a quick kiss on his lips. Too short. I held out my hand, palm facing up, so Edward could hand me my textbook. Though I could handle much more than thirty pound textbooks and I wasn't fragile, Edward still insisted that he carry my books. Nothing ever changed.

I opened the door to my first class to see the whole class turning back and staring…AT ME. What was so interesting about me? It instantly felt like my first day at Forks High when everyone was all "gah gah" over me, except Edward. I didn't like the attention. Especially from this one weird guy.

Unfortunately, the only other vacant seat was next to him.

"Hey," he breathed. "My name is Reginald."

I pointedly ignored him as I drew open my book to the lesson. I wouldn't have to pay attention much, but I would force myself to concentrate so I wouldn't be harassed by _Reginald_.

"Hey, what's your name?"

"Bella," I sighed, acknowledging his presence. I looked over at him and he was staring intensely; it was unnerving.

"Bella," he repeated. "That's a very beautiful name. Bella…Bella…Bella. Hey, you have very beautiful eyes. Are they contacts?"

"Yeah," I lied. He didn't catch it.

"Beautiful eyes and beautiful name," he smiled. "Hey, beautiful, do think there is a chance I could get your number?"

I couldn't believe what he was asking. "Excuse me?"

"Do you think I could have your number?"

"No."

"No? Why not?" He looked confused. I sighed and smiled as I drew up my left hand with the glittering ring. "Oh," he whispered as he recognized the symbol.

"Yep," I replied as I turned back to my book. I wasn't going to be bothered by him anymore. I was bored with class. It was time to pick some people's minds. I knew Edward would do the same if he was in my boat. So, I wanted to communicate with him first. _Edward_, I thought.

_Bella, is that really you? Should you be paying attention to your class?_

I laughed inwardly. _Some guy hit on me Edward_, I thought.

_Edward brain waved, Oh, really. So, am I going to have to beat him up after school?_

_Now. Now. Nothing happened. I flashed him the ring. He backed off. I'm going to going exploring…if you know what I mean._

_Stay out of trouble. You don't know what power you possess in other's minds. _

That was his last warning to me before I blocked him out. Yeah, yeah. Okay, who would be my first victim? I scanned over the class; there was no one interesting in this class. I would experiment with Reginald.

_Man, that girl next to me is hot. Why is she married? Maybe, she really isn't married. Maybe she is just pretending to be. Maybe she would like to play dungeons and dragons. She looks like she would play with me. No…she doesn't. She looks much too beautiful for that. I mean just look at her…_

I quickly shut his thoughts out as I quickly pulled my jacket closer to my body to shield myself from his perverted eyes.

This was going to be a long class.

I picked through the room to find that half of the guys were thinking about one thing only – do I need to explain – with at least one person in the class. Glad Edward wasn't like that. Some of the girls were concerned either about their grades, looks, or boys. Glad I'm not like that.

Then, the professor walked in. I almost had a heart attack – not that vampires could have one – when I realized it was Irina, Tanya's sister. The one that didn't like me. The one that made me almost kick her butt. SHE WAS TEACHING THIS CLASS!

I sunk into my seat. At least I knew I wouldn't be plotting to rape my teacher. This was definitely going to be a long class. Throughout class, she would throw me an occasional smile and ask me questions that I knew the answer to.

I still couldn't get over the initial shock.

After class, I paced the hallway waiting for Edward as I ran my hand through my hair violently. Once I pulled a strand of hair out (that I was never going to get back) I immediately dropped my hands and concentrated on breathing.

I had to remain steady in acting as humanly as possible. As soon as I saw Edward coming from the other side of campus, that all went out the window. I ducked into a corner and ran at vampire speed over to him.

"Edward, why didn't you tell me about Irina?" I demanded as I came out of a corner of the school.

He shot wide in terror as he wheeled me around and pressing me into the school building. "You must never, ever do that again," he scolded. "We must remain as _human _as possible." His eyes were blazing golden flames into mine. I was barely aware of everyone around me as Edward held my wrists between his grasp. He was breathing hard as he noticed how close he was to me.

Very comfortable, but totally out of bounds for our new rules. He backed off and let his hands drop back to his own side. "She won't be teaching for very long. Only for a year or two. Most people think she is a student," he explained matter-of-factly. "It's not that big of deal. You just have to used to it. Our _kind_ have to find something to kill time. So, we take up jobs and hobbies. Sometimes, they won't last long though. The only we can do is move on to something else. Another distraction."

Edward and I had walked to the end of campus. "So, school is only a distraction," I confirmed. Distracting enough for me, anyway. The weird guy, Reginald, from class spotted me. He was frowning as I pulled Edward closer to my body.

"Love, what are you doing," Edward asked. His look was concerned, but grateful.

"Don't worry, Edward. I will be good," I smiled. "Just be still. Be very still."

He closed his eyes, waiting in anticipation. I carefully laid my lips on his, avoiding indulging myself on him. I couldn't slip up. I couldn't falter in my power.

Just then, a thought occurred to me.

Edward and I had switched roles in our relationship. I was so used to Edward being so in control and careful that I didn't take note of my own strength. Now, we were building our relationship back with me having to be the careful one. Though if our slip-up, the results weren't fatal, just a little uncomfortable for Edward's sake.

Finally, I released him. He was smiling. "I think you are progressing," he commented.

Progress. Progress is good.


End file.
